96redneck wrote in
:


I've handled a lot of snappers, and always by the tail. I've never had
one to break. No way would I pick a snapper up by the shell, most
turtles, yes, but a snapper, not me. .


I had made several attempts at a more hearty lift but Mr. Snapper didn't
seem to want to cooperate. In fact, he seemed intent on trying to remove
several of my fingers -- if not my hand -- at the wrist. We finally had
this little conversation:

Me: Look, Mr. Snapper, I'm trying to help you. You're going down the
middle of a mile-long driveway and you're a long way from the creek.

Mr. S: I don't care. Leave me alone. I'll eat your fingers with fava
beans and a nice cianti.

Me: Well, Mr. Snapper, I guess you COULD do that but I'm warning you that
in about 10 minutes, four filled-to-the-nuts dump trucks are coming up
here with a load of rip rap for the pond. You can either start jogging
down that driveway faster than any snapping turtle has ever hauled it or
you can become a large, flat splat in the dirt that the dump trucks will
ne'er notice or you can let me pick you up by the tail and get you the
hell out of here...

Mr. S: BY THE TAIL!! BY THE TAIL!!! PICK ME UP BY THE TAIL AND GET ME
OUT OF HERE!!

The rest is history...