anm wrote:
The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P You may both appreciate the
last interpretation before the postscript.


"When you next read a scientific paper, make sure you have this handy
guide by your side:



"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other
results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around
to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A
COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't
understand it....and I never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it
either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless
topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN
THIS FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an
academic paper.?

This list is very convincing. I have rarely seen such depth and structure
or such an elegant formalism. If all arguments were of this quality much
time would be saved, we would have consensus, world peace and free love.

Thanks for sharing.

David