I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a
very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year.

Fran

An Oztraylian Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a louse
The stockings were hung on the back of the chair
The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair
Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies
I dream of cold beers all served up on ice
It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light
Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight
Seldom before has there been such a drought
Dire warning the weathermen sprout.
"Worse before better" they all seem to say
I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay.
No fodder listed there to be bought
Oh I wish we hadn't been caught
With sheds that are empty of all but the rats
Which fight like the demon with feral cats.
So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks
As like all other farmers we tear out our locks.
"What use is our hair" we mutter and stare
At paddocks that simply remain ever bare.
The blocks will convert dry standing feed
To nourish empty guts in terrible need.
Please send us some rain dear old St Nick
And lend us some hay but do so real quick.
St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish
Please don't say it's all a great trick.
Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle
(He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!)
Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself
And, provided she's not having sex with an elf,
Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart
(But maybe she's just a silly old fart??).
Dear Mrs St Nick
Please be a great brick
Get your man to desist,
Lets get down to the grist,
We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled
Too great a weight for the roof of the shed
Gifts all ephemeral
Animal or mineral
Are not welcome here
At this time of the year.
Please send us some water
To avoid needless slaughter
Our breeders are light
They look such a fright
A bloody good storm burst
Just might quench our thirst
But it's inches we need
For to bring on the feed.
The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock,
The fire threat causes us to take stock,
The pump is all primed and the hose it is set
For if a fire roars in like a jet
Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun
So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run
Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust
No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust.
So it's merry Christmas and all that guff
Pretty it's simply so bloody rough!

Farm1 wrote:
I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a
very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year.

Fran

An Oztraylian Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a louse
The stockings were hung on the back of the chair
The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair
Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies
I dream of cold beers all served up on ice
It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light
Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight
Seldom before has there been such a drought
Dire warning the weathermen sprout.
"Worse before better" they all seem to say
I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay.
No fodder listed there to be bought
Oh I wish we hadn't been caught
With sheds that are empty of all but the rats
Which fight like the demon with feral cats.
So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks
As like all other farmers we tear out our locks.
"What use is our hair" we mutter and stare
At paddocks that simply remain ever bare.
The blocks will convert dry standing feed
To nourish empty guts in terrible need.
Please send us some rain dear old St Nick
And lend us some hay but do so real quick.
St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish
Please don't say it's all a great trick.
Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle
(He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!)
Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself
And, provided she's not having sex with an elf,
Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart
(But maybe she's just a silly old fart??).
Dear Mrs St Nick
Please be a great brick
Get your man to desist,
Lets get down to the grist,
We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled
Too great a weight for the roof of the shed
Gifts all ephemeral
Animal or mineral
Are not welcome here
At this time of the year.
Please send us some water
To avoid needless slaughter
Our breeders are light
They look such a fright
A bloody good storm burst
Just might quench our thirst
But it's inches we need
For to bring on the feed.
The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock,
The fire threat causes us to take stock,
The pump is all primed and the hose it is set
For if a fire roars in like a jet
Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun
So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run
Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust
No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust.
So it's merry Christmas and all that guff
Pretty it's simply so bloody rough!






Yeah this is so darn depressing I thought I'd find a site
And did so without messing.
A google here and a google there and,
like magic heres your christmas Koala bear
http://www.thekoala.com/ausxmas.htm

Neat aussie site for everything Christ missy in Australia