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-   -   Good one Iris! (https://www.gardenbanter.co.uk/gardening/1393-good-one-iris.html)

David Modine 15-02-2003 05:39 PM

Good one Iris!
 
Great story!
David

"Iris Cohen" wrote in message
...
Here's a story for you.

I had an orchid friend in Boston who used to work for the husband at the

Revere
DPW & he swore it was true.
The head of the Department of Public Works in Revere, Mass. was a big,

burly,
heavy machine operator who didn't know a pansy from a petunia. His wife

was a
very avid gardener. One hot summer, a friend invited her to share a cabin

in
the mountains for several weeks. Before she left, she took the husband

around
the garden and gave him very explicit directions about how to water and

care
for the flowers, remove dead blossoms, and everything else that was needed
while she was gone. The husband promised to follow her orders faithfully.
During the vacation, she called about once a week. After hearing the

family
news, she asked her husband about the garden. He told her what was in

bloom and
assured her that everything was fine. When she came home on Labor Day,
practically the first thing she did was walk around the garden. "See,"

said the
husband, "I did everything you told me, and the flowers are in good

shape."
When they went around to the front of the house, the husband said, "You

really
should be proud of me. Look at that hanging basket on the porch. I watered

it
every day and it has been in bloom all summer.
The wife looked, and in an exasperated voice, yelled, "You stupid idiot;

you've
been watering a plastic plant!"
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)




Cereoid+10 15-02-2003 06:27 PM

Good one Iris!
 
Sadly, David Modine has no testicles or else he would have found such a
sexist story an insult to his manhood. Maybe he should change his name to
Bent Dover?


David Modine wrote in message
...
Great story!
David

"Iris Cohen" wrote in message
...
Here's a story for you.

I had an orchid friend in Boston who used to work for the husband at the

Revere
DPW & he swore it was true.
The head of the Department of Public Works in Revere, Mass. was a big,

burly,
heavy machine operator who didn't know a pansy from a petunia. His wife

was a
very avid gardener. One hot summer, a friend invited her to share a

cabin
in
the mountains for several weeks. Before she left, she took the husband

around
the garden and gave him very explicit directions about how to water and

care
for the flowers, remove dead blossoms, and everything else that was

needed
while she was gone. The husband promised to follow her orders

faithfully.
During the vacation, she called about once a week. After hearing the

family
news, she asked her husband about the garden. He told her what was in

bloom and
assured her that everything was fine. When she came home on Labor Day,
practically the first thing she did was walk around the garden. "See,"

said the
husband, "I did everything you told me, and the flowers are in good

shape."
When they went around to the front of the house, the husband said, "You

really
should be proud of me. Look at that hanging basket on the porch. I

watered
it
every day and it has been in bloom all summer.
The wife looked, and in an exasperated voice, yelled, "You stupid idiot;

you've
been watering a plastic plant!"
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the

oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)






Cereoid+10 15-02-2003 09:39 PM

Good one Iris!
 
Misguided David sent me a personal message asking me to be one of his butt
buddies.

Sorry Zorro but I don't swing that way.

Thought you would already have gotten enough action going down in the
village.


Cereoid+10 wrote in message
m...
Sadly, David Modine has no testicles or else he would have found such a
sexist story an insult to his manhood. Maybe he should change his name to
Bent Dover?


David Modine wrote in message
...
Great story!
David

"Iris Cohen" wrote in message
...
Here's a story for you.
I had an orchid friend in Boston who used to work for the husband at

the
Revere
DPW & he swore it was true.
The head of the Department of Public Works in Revere, Mass. was a big,

burly,
heavy machine operator who didn't know a pansy from a petunia. His

wife
was a
very avid gardener. One hot summer, a friend invited her to share a

cabin
in
the mountains for several weeks. Before she left, she took the husband

around
the garden and gave him very explicit directions about how to water

and
care
for the flowers, remove dead blossoms, and everything else that was

needed
while she was gone. The husband promised to follow her orders

faithfully.
During the vacation, she called about once a week. After hearing the

family
news, she asked her husband about the garden. He told her what was in

bloom and
assured her that everything was fine. When she came home on Labor Day,
practically the first thing she did was walk around the garden. "See,"

said the
husband, "I did everything you told me, and the flowers are in good

shape."
When they went around to the front of the house, the husband said,

"You
really
should be proud of me. Look at that hanging basket on the porch. I

watered
it
every day and it has been in bloom all summer.
The wife looked, and in an exasperated voice, yelled, "You stupid

idiot;
you've
been watering a plastic plant!"
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the

oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)








David Modine 15-02-2003 10:27 PM

Good one Iris!
 
OK Asshole, so everyone else can know what I sent you, I will lower my
normal newsgroup standards & repeat it in public.

***K YOU ASSHOLE

There, do you feel better now that you drew me out?
Geez, what a loser

David


"Cereoid+10" wrote in message
.. .
Misguided David sent me a personal message asking me to be one of his butt
buddies.

Sorry Zorro but I don't swing that way.

Thought you would already have gotten enough action going down in the
village.


Cereoid+10 wrote in message
m...
Sadly, David Modine has no testicles or else he would have found such a
sexist story an insult to his manhood. Maybe he should change his name

to
Bent Dover?


David Modine wrote in message
...
Great story!
David

"Iris Cohen" wrote in message
...
Here's a story for you.
I had an orchid friend in Boston who used to work for the husband at

the
Revere
DPW & he swore it was true.
The head of the Department of Public Works in Revere, Mass. was a

big,
burly,
heavy machine operator who didn't know a pansy from a petunia. His

wife
was a
very avid gardener. One hot summer, a friend invited her to share a

cabin
in
the mountains for several weeks. Before she left, she took the

husband
around
the garden and gave him very explicit directions about how to water

and
care
for the flowers, remove dead blossoms, and everything else that was

needed
while she was gone. The husband promised to follow her orders

faithfully.
During the vacation, she called about once a week. After hearing the
family
news, she asked her husband about the garden. He told her what was

in
bloom and
assured her that everything was fine. When she came home on Labor

Day,
practically the first thing she did was walk around the garden.

"See,"
said the
husband, "I did everything you told me, and the flowers are in good
shape."
When they went around to the front of the house, the husband said,

"You
really
should be proud of me. Look at that hanging basket on the porch. I

watered
it
every day and it has been in bloom all summer.
The wife looked, and in an exasperated voice, yelled, "You stupid

idiot;
you've
been watering a plastic plant!"
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the

oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)









David Modine 15-02-2003 10:39 PM

Good one Iris!
 
Plonk

"Cereoid+10" wrote in message
m...
Sadly, David Modine has no testicles or else he would have found such a
sexist story an insult to his manhood. Maybe he should change his name to
Bent Dover?


David Modine wrote in message
...
Great story!
David

"Iris Cohen" wrote in message
...
Here's a story for you.
I had an orchid friend in Boston who used to work for the husband at

the
Revere
DPW & he swore it was true.
The head of the Department of Public Works in Revere, Mass. was a big,

burly,
heavy machine operator who didn't know a pansy from a petunia. His

wife
was a
very avid gardener. One hot summer, a friend invited her to share a

cabin
in
the mountains for several weeks. Before she left, she took the husband

around
the garden and gave him very explicit directions about how to water

and
care
for the flowers, remove dead blossoms, and everything else that was

needed
while she was gone. The husband promised to follow her orders

faithfully.
During the vacation, she called about once a week. After hearing the

family
news, she asked her husband about the garden. He told her what was in

bloom and
assured her that everything was fine. When she came home on Labor Day,
practically the first thing she did was walk around the garden. "See,"

said the
husband, "I did everything you told me, and the flowers are in good

shape."
When they went around to the front of the house, the husband said,

"You
really
should be proud of me. Look at that hanging basket on the porch. I

watered
it
every day and it has been in bloom all summer.
The wife looked, and in an exasperated voice, yelled, "You stupid

idiot;
you've
been watering a plastic plant!"
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the

oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)








Iris Cohen 16-02-2003 02:15 AM

Good one Iris!
 
Sorry, I couldn't resist using it as an example of that type of White Male
gardener. Naturally, I know any number of white male gardeners whom I love and
respect, including my Greek-American bonsai teacher. And assorted other color
gardeners, equally respectable. But the person who asked the question was
obviously asking for a put-down. Actually, the husband in question was a
perfectly nice good-natured fellow who endured a lot of ribbing from his garage
buddies when the story got around.
While we are on the subject of ethno-botany, a few years ago I discovered there
seem to be more Jewish bonsai artists (relative to the Jewish population) on
Long Island than anywhere else, even Israel and California. Not sure about
Florida.
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)


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