Well this morning I crawled outa bed, shoving Rose back over towards
Squire's side with my feet, and with a pounding head, got dressed. This
couldn't be good waking UP with a headache. But I was determined to make the
best of this last day off as outside the din of shouting birds was evident
thru the closed windows. It was Spring outside wheather or not Mom's Nature
is thru with her pranks of winter or not. and on top of that, the sun was
cheerfully shining as much as it could.

Usually I go straight to the sweet iced tea, but I decided to slip on my
fuzzy green top and check out the temperatures outside. Unbelievable. It
felt about like it was 60's. I looked at the two foot pile of soil and
debris that I'd swept from the backs of the beds last night as a last act
before going inside for the night, and realized I needed to find my dust pan
today to put the soil back into the beds. I stayed outside and resigned
myself to my fate. And didn't turn to go get some tea. I was fearful that
if I did, I'd get distracted.

I also have to replace the rotted timbers that are now decomposed on the
bottom. My work is cut out for me. I also looked at the four FOOT pile of
vinca that I'd torn out yesterday in a moment of true madness, which is why
I really am called the madgardener.

There are two piles ready for my garden cart, and as I stood there proud
that I'd gotten quite a bit torn out, I was appalled to see that there was
MORE vinca in the western end of the bed near the wisteria. "This won't do",
I mumbled to myself, and I straightened up from yanking another clump with
all my strength of a bundle of it I seem to have missed at the base of a
rotting timber to holler at Rose to "go to the pasture, Rose, now!!" and see
her give me a look of dog disgust and tolerance before trotting off to the
pasture to check out the smells of the night visitors and to do her
business.

The headache was a dull thud behind my eyes, but I was a woman possessed. I
was determined to get every frelling piece of vinca out of the western bed
before everything has shot up outa the soil. Boy was I in for some pain.
Now let me explain. This bed ends at the wisteria, which I have decided has
stopped blooming for me, and that I planted the root of sweet Autumn
clematis and IT clambered over that quite nicely last year and was awesome,
and underneath the wisteria support, I planted the single flowering kerria
japonica that must think it's a runnering bush, as I am now seeing little
green whips of bush poking out in the most unusual places, like five feet
from the original plant.

Around the feet of all this, is the vinca. Vinca that has NEVER been pulled
out once it reached the area of which I speak of. Jutting outwards to the
south and which is the front of this extension of the bed, I have plugged in
Mary Emma's six foot pastel white and pink phlox that would really like a
haircut when it first comes up, various daylilies, some bulbs of lilies,
nothing spectacular, a clump of a nice spiderwort, a white Joe Pye I found
on the side of the road a few years back that I just plugged into the end of
the bed, and anything else I decided to plug into the soil. The vinca has
to go.

More than any reason than others, this bed isn't properly wide to accomodate
working from either side. I will have to plunk a stepping stone down to
work in the center, and that means I would lose that space to plant someone.
I intend on filling up this spot with all those daylilies I bought last year
and divided for sharing with Mary Emma that are now poking up green noses in
the nursery pots in the broken BBQ I used to use as a burn bin.

Zennie will comfirm that I apparently have a crapper load of vinca, and as
much as I love those little blue periwinkle trumpets, NOTHING is worth these
tendrils that grab at your ankles and fling you off your feet. I started
pulling and yanking and frustrated with the ones that I was pulling from
across the bed, I decided to hell with it, I will go around to THAT side and
pull it out from there. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Remember when I told you guys that there are little islands in front of my
beds? No actual yards, but even in these islands of green, the cleome and
zebrina's are duking it out there now.

Well that was a gross misleading statement. The vinca has been conspiring
to form an impenetrable mat of vines and evergreen leaves. I have a mess on
my hands. Apparently I have not been paying attention this last year and a
half or possibly two, while I was working and this stuff has gotten way outa
hand. It's down right scary, and the only thing I can do is totally remove
it. And friends, I know that I have absolutely no way of completely removing
this stuff, because as I yanked, and tugged and ripped and pulled, I would
trace a long piece down to a spot on the soil's top, and it would be tucked
underneath a healthy iris toe, or a clump of a perennial.

In ripping these things out of the soft soil, I'd hear a deep thunk, and I
knew that I'd just succeeded in stimulating it deeper in the raised soil to
make more to replace what was removed. I even generously pulled out a huge
piece of this when Zhan was here to offer it up to her to take with her to
plant somewhere near her yard and she saw the evil potential it had and
politely refused me.

I was a woman possessed. I started another pile of this stuff.

The first thing I decided, was that I was eventually going to trash the
broken garden seat I have a broken pot planted with semps and one varigated
iris (the rest seem to have dissolved). Let me put it to you this
way.....Zhan has probably NO idea that there were stepping stones placed in
the front of this island of "yard" in front of the actual beds. They were
totally covered over and hidden in vines and leaves, nurturing even more
vines to burst out into the driveway next. I was tempted to plant it in
Jerry's yard across the driveway, but hell, even I'M not that cruel or mean!
G

So here I sit, winded, parched and have consumed about a quart of much
needed sweet tea, there is another pile of vines out front waiting for me to
pick up, I have decided to rest for a half hour, then I will jump back into
this and do some more damage before the day is gone. I slaved and wrenched
on these insidious thing for about an hour before my body demanded I go get
something to drink, catch my breath, and regroup and think about an assault
plan.

The birds cheer me on, or maybe just are shouting to every female within
hearing range that they're ready to do the courting dances. In my madness I
have started thinking strange things. Like , "Just how HUGE would this thing
get if left totally alone??" and then I realized it.....................this
was the crap that lived in the property line of my old house that I had
never removed, and when me and my neighbors decided to put an actual fence
up, we discovered woody vines of this stuff that were an inch or two thick
and it took a pick ax to dig it up. What was I thinking?

The I had another memory to slap me in the forehead. I had given this to
Mz. Scalf, the lady who has sold me the worm castings soil all these years,
and when you pass their tin building that faces I-81, you can literally SEE
something green that is growing against the
building.............................this stuff has actually risen up and is
espaliered against the north facing wall and it remains green even during
bitter temperatures and snows. I'm in trouble.....................

I will slip my garden gloves on, find my hat, grab the jug I keep the half
gallon of tea in, put on my garden thongs (the others weren't good enough
this time for some reason, which I would think traction was the reason, I am
pulling stuff that is going to leave me a knot tonight and I will be going
to work at 7 tomorrow morning, I must be mad..........)

I am also taking the pruners with me, although I sincerely doubt that I will
need them or get to them, as I have a bad feeling the vinca will be an all
day excursion. I will keep ya'll posted. Wish me luck.

madgardener up on the spring-like ridge, back in fairy holler, listening to
the sarcastic little smirks of the vinca fairies, overlooking English
Mountain if I were to stop and actually LOOK at English Mountain.......in
Eastern Tennessee, zone 6b Sunset zone 36

I can relate...I spent all yesterday digging liriope and vinca from under my
azaleas and hardly made a dent in the mess. Getting out of bed this morning was
more than my poor body could hardly stand. Best of luck with the vinca....

thank you, I was able to get outa bed only because I took a nap yesterday
like some old fart..............g had to get up at 4:30 to get to work at
Lowes by 6:30 this morning, so I am indeed insane.......and there's MORE
vinca to dig up. (this time I am determined to get all of it no matter how
pretty the flowers are)
madgardener
"Marcy Hege" wrote in message
...
I can relate...I spent all yesterday digging liriope and vinca from under
my
azaleas and hardly made a dent in the mess. Getting out of bed this
morning was
more than my poor body could hardly stand. Best of luck with the vinca....

Hey Mad! When you get done, I'd love for you to visit me and pull out all my
vinca too! Maybe they will see that you are boss, cuz the vinca laughs at me
every time I walk near them. I think they could be part of a Stephen King
movie!

loony

"madgard" wrote in message
. ..
thank you, I was able to get outa bed only because I took a nap yesterday
like some old fart..............g had to get up at 4:30 to get to work
at
Lowes by 6:30 this morning, so I am indeed insane.......and there's MORE
vinca to dig up. (this time I am determined to get all of it no matter how
pretty the flowers are)
madgardener

Ever thought of selling or bartering it for other plants--or just leaving it
beside your street in a well-watered trashcan with some literature about the
stuff and the sign "FREE BEDDING PLANTS"? (Or are you just possessed by the mad
urge to get rid of the stuff that sometimes hits me when an unwanted plant
leads my garden down the garden path?
zemedelec

maybe we should send him some..........................(I keep hearing him,
dressed in those overall's in Creep Show saying "Meteor shit!!!" ROFLMAO)
maddie about to leave for the 5:30 - 9:30 schedule at my
Lowes.........GBSEG
"loonyhiker" wrote in message
...
Hey Mad! When you get done, I'd love for you to visit me and pull out all
my
vinca too! Maybe they will see that you are boss, cuz the vinca laughs at
me
every time I walk near them. I think they could be part of a Stephen King
movie!

loony

"madgard" wrote in message
. ..
thank you, I was able to get outa bed only because I took a nap
yesterday
like some old fart..............g had to get up at 4:30 to get to
work
at
Lowes by 6:30 this morning, so I am indeed insane.......and there's MORE
vinca to dig up. (this time I am determined to get all of it no matter
how
pretty the flowers are)
madgardener

"Zemedelec" wrote in message
...
Ever thought of selling or bartering it for other plants--or just leaving
it
beside your street in a well-watered trashcan with some literature about
the
stuff and the sign "FREE BEDDING PLANTS"? (Or are you just possessed by
the mad
urge to get rid of the stuff that sometimes hits me when an unwanted plant
leads my garden down the garden path?
zemedelec

honey, I wouldn't even pass this off to the f**kwad across the driveway it's
so insidious......and I don't live on a street that is frequented. I live up
off a deadend, down a gravel driveway in the rural part of a little bitty
town (ask Zhan) my trash can's go down the loooooooong driveway to sit at
the paved asphalt dead end road near the mailboxes on Tuesday morning and
all my garbage men want are six packs of Mountain Dew...............
I have not even put this stuff in my compost pile. I have piled it up on the
east side of the house to dry and be burnt later. not like me but I am done
with this stuff..................
madgardener