Got this one from my sister...

Thought this may give you a teehee moment.

GOD ASKS ST FRANCIS ABOUT GREEN RECTANGLES

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature.
What in the world is going on down there on the planet?
What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff
I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden
plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long
lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks
of songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I
see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.
The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds"
and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with
grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It
doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms.
It's sensitive to
temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that
grass growing
there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains
to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning
any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a
little,they cut
it - sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up
and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell
it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to
throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass
so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer w
hen we cut back
on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves
them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When
the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so
they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the
autumn they fall
to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture
in the soil and
protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the
leaves form compost
to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites
have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into
great piles and
pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No.!?? What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out
and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and
spread it around in
place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to
make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore.
St.Catherine,
you're in charge of arts. What movie have you scheduled
for us tonight?

ST.CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a really
stupid movie
about....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story
from St. Francis

A loud Amen to that one, Sandie!

I mostly gave up struggling to maintain a "perfect" lawn when I moved from a
50x150' lot in NJ to 4 acres in VT (3 of which were Christmas trees) --
although I had a *lot* more green stuff to mow, I never even thought about
fertilizing it! As it was, I had only about 2 weeks between snow melt &
first mowing; basically, if it wasn't raining, I was mowing! (Letting it
grow into hay just was not a viable option on a Christmas tree farm. I did,
however, sometimes get the timing right so that the paths between the trees
were "carpets of dandelions" -- and then, I really laughed when I thought
how hard I'd worked to exterminate the wee little yellow darlings!)

At least even in NJ, I had the foresight to compost lawn clippings &
eaves -- I confess that I never did grow to like the little spiky balls
from the sweet gum trees, though. In late fall, I just mowed over grass &
leaves at the same time, dumped everything on the veggie garden until
spring, then composted whatever was left, to break down & be put on the
veggie garden, and so on and so on.

Anne Lurie
Raleigh, NC



"Sandie Hudson" wrote in message
...
Got this one from my sister...

Thought this may give you a teehee moment.

GOD ASKS ST FRANCIS ABOUT GREEN RECTANGLES

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature.
What in the world is going on down there on the planet?
What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff
I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden
plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long
lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks
of songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I
see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.
The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds"
and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with
grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It
doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms.
It's sensitive to
temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that
grass growing
there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains
to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning
any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a
little,they cut
it - sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up
and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell
it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to
throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass
so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer w
hen we cut back
on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves
them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When
the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so
they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the
autumn they fall
to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture
in the soil and
protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the
leaves form compost
to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites
have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into
great piles and
pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No.!?? What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out
and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and
spread it around in
place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to
make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore.
St.Catherine,
you're in charge of arts. What movie have you scheduled
for us tonight?

ST.CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a really
stupid movie
about....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story
from St. Francis

I mow the land around the lake in my neighborhood and there are patches of
wild flowers here and there that the previous mowers just would mow under.

In the spring especially I leave these areas to grow. -There is a large
patch of coreopsis near the edge of the lake that is quite pretty.

Some people complained becuase the "grass" was not cut
and
then some people said how nice it looked with the wildflowers growing!!

I know one person sprays roundup on ANYTHING green in their yard, the yard
is just a forest of pine trees and pine needles. She even sprays the
ferns!!

beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!

Tomatolord


"Sandie Hudson" wrote in message
...
Got this one from my sister...

Thought this may give you a teehee moment.

GOD ASKS ST FRANCIS ABOUT GREEN RECTANGLES

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature.
What in the world is going on down there on the planet?
What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff
I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden
plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long
lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks
of songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I
see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.
The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds"
and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with
grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It
doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms.
It's sensitive to
temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that
grass growing
there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains
to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning
any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a
little,they cut
it - sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up
and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell
it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to
throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass
so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer w
hen we cut back
on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves
them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When
the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so
they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the
autumn they fall
to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture
in the soil and
protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the
leaves form compost
to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites
have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into
great piles and
pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No.!?? What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out
and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and
spread it around in
place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to
make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore.
St.Catherine,
you're in charge of arts. What movie have you scheduled
for us tonight?

ST.CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a really
stupid movie
about....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story
from St. Francis