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#1
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Electric fence - caveat
I got this from someone elsewhere, but thought it worth passing on.
"We have the standard 6 ft. fence around our backyard, and I am hearing about burglaries increasing dramatically in our neighborhood and all over the city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. Yesterday the rain finally broke so I decide to mow the back yard. I'm mowing away with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. I notice the hot wire broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger so I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my privates trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of cr*p lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot cr*p, p**, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just cr*p your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I know a little about electric fences......but the ones I had personally experienced were obviously not 'professional grade' and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp South Alabama soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the fri**in' tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, p**, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am... 92 sweaty degrees, 90% humidity, standing paralized in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day ......he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire..I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things: 1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted. 2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).. 3- Poop, p**, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think. 4- My left eye will not open. 5- My right eye will not close. 6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbish now.. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that. 7- My gonads are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. 8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by f*rting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).. That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things.. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow." -- Nick, KI6VAV. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families: https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/ Thank a Veteran! Support Our Troops: http://anymarine.com/ You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~ USMC 1365061 |
#2
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Electric fence - caveat
Nick's cure for constipation?
These fences are suppose to be on pulse. On, off, on, off... when on, you're stuck as apparently you were, it is when it goes off that you get tossed from it. Usually just your hand or whatever (now if you have keys in your hand and you hit the wire, they will go flying). So what's with your fence? Malfunctioning? Mine is plugged into house current so we can use a timer, thus off when there is likelihood of human activity around it. Regardless I'm still dang careful around it, having had horses when younger I got shocked more than I can remember, and probably why I can't remember. Interesting idea though as a prowler stopper. Do you have little signs up saying your fence is hot, why would anything else be worth stealing? ;-) ~ jan On Sun, 7 Jun 2009 09:10:06 EDT, Nick Cramer wrote: I got this from someone elsewhere, but thought it worth passing on. "We have the standard 6 ft. fence around our backyard, and I am hearing about burglaries increasing dramatically in our neighborhood and all over the city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. Yesterday the rain finally broke so I decide to mow the back yard. I'm mowing away with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. I notice the hot wire broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger so I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my privates trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of cr*p lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot cr*p, p**, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just cr*p your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I know a little about electric fences......but the ones I had personally experienced were obviously not 'professional grade' and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp South Alabama soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the fri**in' tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, p**, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am... 92 sweaty degrees, 90% humidity, standing paralized in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .....he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire..I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things: 1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted. 2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).. 3- Poop, p**, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think. 4- My left eye will not open. 5- My right eye will not close. 6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbish now.. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that. 7- My gonads are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. 8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by f*rting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).. That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things.. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow." ------------ Zone 7a, SE Washington State Ponds: www.jjspond.us |
#3
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Electric fence - caveat
Just read the header. I am glad it was not you, Nick. Still...worth
reading! Jim |
#4
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Electric fence - caveat
Nick,
I laughed until I cried reading your post. I stopped laughing when you described passing out. I am glad you made it through the experience. Our electric fence does pulse...I know from experience. Sounds like yours does have some sort of malfunction. Have you any idea why the wire was loose? I would say 'hang in there', but that does not sound like good encouragement for you just now! Jim |
#5
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Electric fence - caveat
I'm pretty sure we're reading a piece of creative writing here, folks.
DT Jim and Phyllis wrote: Just read the header. I am glad it was not you, Nick. Still...worth reading! Jim |
#6
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Electric fence - caveat
Jim and Phyllis wrote:
Just read the header. I am glad it was not you, Nick. Still...worth reading! Thanks, Jim. I just found it hilarious and, remembering the "electric fence" thread here, earlier, had to post it. Back in the 70's, I built a nitrogen laser for home protection. It put out a one inch diameter by five feet long pulse of UV (5 nanoseconds) that burned a hole through a test supermarket turkey. My lawyer prohibited me from installing it. ;-) -- Nick, KI6VAV. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families: https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/ Thank a Veteran! Support Our Troops: http://anymarine.com/ You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~ USMC 1365061 |
#7
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Electric fence - caveat
Back in the 70's, I built a nitrogen laser for home protection. It put out a one inch diameter by five feet long pulse of UV (5 nanoseconds) that burned a hole through a test supermarket turkey. My lawyer prohibited me from installing it. ;-) Uh....Yeah...Good call by the lawyer. Jim |
#8
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Electric fence - caveat
"Nick Cramer" wrote in message ... The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow." ================================ I don't understand this since electric fences PULSE. They don't act like a stripped wire from a lamp or sticking a metal gizmo in an outl et. I had electric fences when I kept livestock and was zapped more than once. It's not a constant "shock" you can't let go of. It's a zap. There must be something wrong with your electric fencer. It sounds downright dangerous. What if a child blunders into it? -- RM.... Frugal ponding since 1995. rec.ponder since late 1996. Zone 6. Middle TN USA ~~~~ }((((* ~~~ }{{{{(ö |
#9
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Electric fence - caveat
"Jim and Phyllis" wrote in message ... Just read the header. I am glad it was not you, Nick. Still...worth reading! Jim =============== I took it to be him. Whoever owns that fencer should get rid of it. It's deadly. Or it's just a made up story like so many floating around the net. No one wants their livestock or some innocent person killed by their fence. -- RM.... Frugal ponding since 1995. rec.ponder since late 1996. Zone 6. Middle TN USA ~~~~ }((((* ~~~ }{{{{(ö |
#10
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Electric fence - caveat
Jim and Phyllis wrote:
Back in the 70's, I built a nitrogen laser for home protection. It put out a one inch diameter by five feet long pulse of UV (5 nanoseconds) that burned a hole through a test supermarket turkey. My lawyer prohibited me from installing it. ;-) Uh....Yeah...Good call by the lawyer. Yer right, Jim. While we're on opposite ends of the political spectrum, he's been my friend and attorney since 1961. I don't think he lurks on r.h! -- Nick, KI6VAV. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families: https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/ Thank a Veteran! Support Our Troops: http://anymarine.com/ You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~ USMC 1365061 |
#11
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Electric fence - caveat
"ReelMcKoi" wrote "Nick Cramer" wrote The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow." =========== I don't understand this since electric fences PULSE. They don't act like a stripped wire from a lamp or sticking a metal gizmo in an outl et. I had electric fences when I kept livestock and was zapped more than once. It's not a constant "shock" you can't let go of. It's a zap. There must be something wrong with your electric fencer. It sounds downright dangerous. What if a child blunders into it? -- Not all fencers "pulse"; some have a steady charge. You can't use polyester/wire with one that doesn't pulse because it will melt. |
#12
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Electric fence - caveat
On Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:33:30 EDT, "Pat"
wrote: Not all fencers "pulse"; some have a steady charge. You can't use polyester/wire with one that doesn't pulse because it will melt. I didn't know this. Why would one use a non-pulsing wire? ~ jan ------------ Zone 7a, SE Washington State Ponds: www.jjspond.us |
#13
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Electric fence - caveat
"~ jan" wrote | On Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:33:30 EDT, "Pat" | wrote: | | Not all fencers "pulse"; some have a steady charge. You can't use | polyester/wire with one that doesn't pulse because it will melt. | | I didn't know this. Why would one use a non-pulsing wire? ~ jan for small animals |
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