GardenBanter.co.uk

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing
that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife
1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I
recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command
C: APOLOGIZE. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a
great program, and while it tends to be very high maintenance, it also
comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag
Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of
Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!!

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

--
http://www.kencofish.com Ken Arnold,
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