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Mark. Gooley 12-04-2004 02:35 PM

...by any other name...
 
Ferdinand Pichard
Jean-Luc Pichard
Semolina Pichard

Just Joey
Unjust Joey
Nasty Joey
That Bitch Joey

Thigh of Nymph
Thigh of Passionate Nymph
Boneless Breast of Passionate Nymph

Sheila's Perfume
Bruce's Armpit
Sarah's Odor

The Fairy
The Poofter

Gruess an Aachen
Gruess an Teplitz
Gruess an Newark

Gruess an Aachen
Ach, it's Gruesome

Peace
Chicago Peace
Pink Peace
Desert Peace
Cod Peace
Rest in Peace

Little Buckaroo
Big Buckaroo
Buckaroo Banzai

Madame Isaac Periere
Sir Issac Newton
Mr. Isaac Hayes

Mr. Bluebird
Mr. Shrike
Mr. Chickenhawk
Mr. Buzzard

Mermaid
Barmaid
Chambermaid

Country Dancer
Country Music
Country Living
Country Bumpkin
Country Fried

Albertine
Gilbertine
Libertine
Ovaltine

Dr. Huey
Dr. Dewey
Dr. Louie

New Dawn
Old Dawn
Slightly Used Dawn
They Call Her Dawn

Lafter
Shafter
Shatner

Aloha
Aloha Oe
Aloha Oy Veh
Aloha Gevalt

Prairie Breeze
Prairie Princess
Prairie Lass
Prairie Dog

Tipsy Imperial Concubine
Drunken Imperial Concubine
Comatose Imperial Concubine
Chrysler Imperial Concubine

The Doctor
The Bishop
The Reeve
The Garland
The Butcher
The Baker
The Candlestick-Maker

Shot Silk
Shot Wad
Shot Gun
Shot of Bourbon

Therese Bugnet
Therese Windowscreen
Therese Flyswatter

Souvenir de la Malmaison
Souvenir de Euro-Disney
Souvenir de Gator World

Jiminy Cricket
Gosh Darn
Oh Poop
What the Freaking Heck

Don Juan
Don Pardo
Don Ho Show

General Jacquemont
General Nuisance
Colonel Sanders
Major Difficulty
Private Parts

Fisherman's Friend
Hall's Mentho-lyptus
Sucrets
Cepacol
Smith Brothers
For Cough

Mme. Berkeley
Bishop Berkeley
Busby Berkeley
U. C. at Berkeley

Mrs. B. R. Cant
Mrs. Immanuel Kant

Papa Gontier
Papa Smurf

Trinity
Morpheus
Neo

Reynolds Hole
Woods Hole
Black Hole

Abraham Darby
Sage Darby
Kentucky Darby

Hamburger Phoenix
Meat Loaf Albuquerque
Casserole Las Vegas
Pot Pie Reno

Mary Manners
Malcolm Manners
Miss Manners
Table Manners

Rambling Rector
Ranting Preacher
Raving Mad Bishop

Mark.





Sunflower 12-04-2004 03:03 PM

...by any other name...
 

"Mark. Gooley" wrote in message
...

"snip" a lot of GOOD stuff

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks. Casserole Las Vegas
and Drs. Huey, Louie, Dewey were my favorite.



Radika 14-04-2004 07:32 PM

...by any other name...
 
Mark. Gooley wrote:

Lots and lots of hilarious stuff

I too haven't laughed this hard in a very long time. Very clever, Mark -
thanks for posting this list. Sunflower has her favourites, and mine
overlap with hers but I also am hooting at Boneless Breast of Passionate
Nymph, Meat Loaf Albuquerque, Pot Pie Reno, Ranting Preacher and Raving
Mad Bishop.

What on earth made you start on this vein? I am very glad you did though
..... lol!

--
Radika
California
USDA 9 / Sunset 15


Mark. Gooley 14-04-2004 09:33 PM

...by any other name...
 
"Radika" wrote
I too haven't laughed this hard in a very long time. Very
clever, Mark - thanks for posting this list. Sunflower has
her favourites, and mine overlap with hers but I also am
hooting at Boneless Breast of Passionate Nymph, Meat
Loaf Albuquerque, Pot Pie Reno, Ranting Preacher and
Raving Mad Bishop.

What on earth made you start on this vein? I am very glad
you did though [...]


Thanks very much!

A combination of things set me off. I've used this method
before -- I wrote a list of names for universities and
research institutions some years ago (check old newsgroup
posts on google.com) -- but it's not original. There was a
series of cartoons in some handyman magazine when I was
a boy: they featured a series of drawers or bins with labels
that grew more absurd as one went from left to right in a
row. (Mechanix Illustrated?) One starts with one real
name or item (better yet, several), and works logically
from there. A progression logical in itself becomes
absurd when considered as a set of names -- one hopes.
I just had to apply this to roses.

Another thing: the rather twee and silly names that I see
given to otherwise fine roses. Now, I didn't lampoon all
that many of them in my list, partly because I tried to use
well-known real varieties, partly because I'm not clever
enough. Tastes vary, and a name I find hopelessly cutesy
or silly is perfectly okay with the next person, and yet...

Consider the roses bred by the late great Dr. Bayse. Many
of their names set my teeth on edge, even though the roses
are good, some world-class. A real dose of saccharin:
names of miniature roses. Some are enough to make one
want to spade-prune or Roundup the poor innocents (they
had no choice in the matter).

I realize that there are many ways that a new variety gets
a name, that names are changed when one's imported
(Pinata for a rose bred in Japan? yep), and that no variety
aimed at a wide market can have a ribald name like For
Cough (say it out loud in an English accent if you don't get
the joke). But consider the whole thing 1) an attempt to
make people laugh and 2) an earnest plea to shun mawkish
and pretentious names and embrace lighthearted ones. I
plan to start trying to breed new varieties myself, and
considering the huge rate of failure, a merry heart seems
essential.

So far, my new Reichpraesident von Hindenburg is doing
beautifully (I recommend it wholeheartedly), and I am
sorely tempted to drive south to Muncy's in Sarasota (aka
Sara's Odor to us Floridians) merely to secure my very own
bush of Happy Butt.

Mark.






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