Let me apologize once and for all for being too sensitive......for being the
person I've always been........for not totally understanding things
sometimes and jumping to conclusions, for misunderstanding simple things
that are sometimes blatantly apparent, and for any posts I put here in the
future that don't immediately relate to gardening in the UK.

The way I write, and express myself is my appreciation for my garden and the
magic that I see in it. I am not a very learned person. I am self taught.
Having come from the educational system that keeps knowledge from the ones
they want to be the working class, and having to depend on my natural
curiosity has disabled me on quite a few things. I often misquote or
misinform, but am quick to point out my short comings. And try to learn
from my mistakes.

I never went to college. Only graduated high school, and that was 34 years
ago. I've learned way more since then, and am still learning.

I won't apologize for being ME, but I will apologize for starting out on the
wrong foot again. I am older now, and have a better grasp of things, but
then, contradictory to who I am, I still misunderstand the simplest things.

I didn't step on anyone's feelings, I totally misunderstood a simple remark.
I am NOT here to stir up things. There are evil trolls who do that very well
much to my dismay.

I am here because Janet invited me to share my off the wall and funny way of
looking at life here in my little piece of gardening hell and heaven. I
find the magic in my little flowers, the winged wonders and the wildlife
that abounds around me. It humbles me to no end. And it reminds me firmly
that I am only here for a short while, and I should absolutely stop and
smell the flowers.

I absolutely love music as much as I love gardening and all the aspects of
it, I drive my husband nuts when I play too much Celtic music, but then,
he's partially deaf from Vietnam as it is, so he doesn't have to listen too
closely.........

I just feel I need to take a deep breath, ask those who think I am some
ignorant, arrogant and self righteous American to look again. I am a little
(5'4") hippie person who hasn't cut her hair just because I'm 52. I adore
horticulture. I believe in MY fairies, but have recently over the last few
years discovered that maybe subconsciously I have been inspired by someone
else's fairies. Specifically I have discovered the works and art of
Cicely Mary Barker, and recently acquired my well sought after copy of The
Waterbabies, and I have a feeling this is where I started believing in the
wee folk.

I believe in magic of personal nature. Life to me is magic. that I am here
is a miracle, and I mean that literally. The conditions that came to my
existence reminds me everyday that I am blessed to be experiencing all of
this. And the computer is one of those amazing miracles. Where else could I
ramble and shoot off my mouth thru my hands about my passions? and meet such
wonderful and diverse people who share my passions with such complicated
senses of humors and intelligence? And I want to experience these nuances
because I adore how diverse we are.

I am apologizing to Pammy T as well here on the newsgroup because I fear she
thinks I am the typical example of the misinformed American. But I am just
basically a good person despite my misinformation and lack of teachings. I
suspect that I might be someone you wouldn't mind living next door too, even
if there wasn't a yard to mow, because it would all be raised gardens with
paths like I have here. and containers of all sorts with all types of plants
and bulbs and such.

My gardening experiences are on going. I have seriously, passionately
gardened since I was 21. But the dormant DNA didn't kick in until 1979 when
I found a pot of Pothos in the parking lot of a supermarket in Denver and
brought it home as I was pushing the months groceries back to the rental.
that opened up the flood gates for passions I've only come to appreciate and
love. Apparently my mother's oldest sister, Pearline had made sure I had
her genes for flower and plant passions, even if I wasn't related by blood,
just the rubbing up against her and being around her my whole life was
enough to take on her qualities. I didn't get this from my mom. Even if
she was always able to grow African violets wonderfully for decades (I kill
them).

So please, can I start over? I will be careful what I say to those who
respond to me in a way that I misunderstand. I can't believe I once again
did this right away. You'd think at almost 53 I'd learn! I guess I am
hardheaded!

I hope all of you are well, have a wonderful Christmas and Boxing day and I
hope the new year brings us more understanding and tolerance and lordy, some
peace. I ain't holding my breath on that one. but I will say, ignore the
crap and politics of where I am and just peel back the dirty curtain and
look at the smiling little woman with the goofy and very obvious hat and try
and forgive me for decades of misinformation and lack of teaching.

To let those who are into gardening over there know a titch more about me
and me passions........I have tropical plants (some I've had for 18 years or
so) cacti of assorted types (one cactus is almost six feet, blooms at the
end of summer, and weighs 150 pounds and I schlep it inside and outside
every year to enjoy the great outdoors and weather no matter what it brings,
I have African bulbs that are now going dormant for me, a Clivia that hasn't
bloomed for me since my friend and mentor, Mary Emma gifted it to me 11
years ago, that my gardening friend from Wanneroo, Australia who hybridizes
them has threatened to fly up here to see what I am doing wrong...........I
also have too many perennials, but not nearly enough, as I am constantly
wanting to try more....but in the same breath, I am starting to see a
clarity in my madness that I never saw before. I am starting to see the
bones of my gardens.

I seem to have developed a recent passion for the oddities of Euphorbia's in
all their prickly qualities. How I got eleven of them is only because
another gardener got bored with them and gifted them to me.

I also adore Sanseveria's and counted nine different kinds so far. My
triumph being the one from Africa that if I live to see it, will have leaves
five foot tall and four foot wide............(right now it has two leaves
and is birthing a third one!)

I like annuals, but only plant and grow the ones who reseed themselves and
ignore my inability to successfully grow more from seed. I have difficulty
in seed germination of plants I'd like to try for just the colors and
textures.

I used to have a vegetable garden until I moved to a place where you need a
short leg and a long one to walk upright and level. literally. too many
trees to give sunlight for the vegetables I used to grow in Nashville years
ago...but reluctant to cut down the 5 and 6 story Jack pines (pole pines)
that dominate my lower woods and hollow. (holler) because I love how they
sway in the sheer winds and storms and make me feel so
small.....................(the house seems to sway with them when I gaze out
the kitchen window which is the two story part of the house, and turn around
and you're on the ground! its a weird house!)

My Streptocarpus has set buds in the kitchen window, and that's enough to
make my day.............. today.....tomorrow will be something else. thanks
for the time and bandwidth.

madgardener, up on the ridge, back in a cold soaked, rainy Fairy Holler,
overlooking English Mountain in East Tennessee.