A beautiful blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to get started.

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a Rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
Rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have
a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh,
...."let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."



--
.................................................. .........
Royal Naval Electrical Branch Association
www.rnshipmates.co.uk
www.nsrafa.com

'Mike' wrote:
A beautiful blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
out how to get started.

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
Rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a Rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh,
..."let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she
was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over,
so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new
convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of
sheep. She stopped and called the shepherd over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.

"Why thank you," said the shepherd.

"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

"Okay," replied the shepherd.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one
home?" asked the woman.

"Sure," said the shepherd

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied
"382."

"Wow," said the shepherd. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the
sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then, the shepherd said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you."

"What is it?" queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

"Phil L" wrote in message
. ..
'Mike' wrote:
A beautiful blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
out how to get started.

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
Rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a Rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh,
..."let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she
was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over,
so she cut and dyed her hair.

artifical intelligence

rob

"George.com" wrote in message
...

"Phil L" wrote in message
. ..
'Mike' wrote:



I could write a book on 'Blonde jokes' which have been sent to me in emails
following the start of this thread ;-)

Whether it would get past the censor or not I don't know!!

Mike

--
.................................................. .........
Royal Naval Electrical Branch Association
www.rnshipmates.co.uk
www.nsrafa.com

'Mike' wrote:
Whether it would get past the censor or not I don't know!!

Here. I got this one today and felt like returning the laugh you gave
me this morning with the blonde and the cornflakes joke )

Last week was my retirement and I didn't feel very well waking up on
that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy retirement!"
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy retirement."

I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy retirement!"
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your retirement,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge retirement cake...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all shouting " Happy retirement!"


And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

"La Puce" wrote in message
oups.com...


And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.


It's always the last line isn't it ????

I had a beauty sent to me, but no for posting here me thinks :-(( The
'owners' would not like it.

Mike


--
.................................................. .........
Royal Naval Electrical Branch Association
www.rnshipmates.co.uk
www.nsrafa.com