GardenBanter.co.uk

On Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:34:22 -0700, Jeff Lawrence
wrote:

On 11 Sep, 22:40, Bernice Collins wrote:
Herbert formulated the question :

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II?
A: The Pope died a virgin.

Q: Knock Knock... Who's There?
A: Not Maddie, LOL.

I'm passing this on to the police, you sick *******.

I wouldn't bother. They've already heard these jokes.
Cheers
Jeff

Their old jokes anyway. I heard them at the secret policeman's ball!

--

Hansom 0++0

Avoid the rush at the last judgement. Be converted now instead!

PRAYER FOR A NATION

When Pastor Joe Wright, of Central Christian Church, was asked
to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting
the usual politically correct generalities.
But what they heard instead was this:

Heavenly Father, we come before You today to ask Your forgiveness
and seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says,
‘Woe on those who call evil good,’ but that’s exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.

We confess that:

We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it pluralism;

We have, worshipped other gods and called it multiculturalism;

We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle;

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery;

We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation;

We have killed our unborn and called it choice;

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem;

We have abused power and called it political savvy;

We have coveted our neighbour’s possessions and called it ambition;

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression;

We have ridiculed the time-honoured values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, 0 God, and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us;
cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have
been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by You, to govern this great state.

Grant them Your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the centre of Your will. I ask it in the name of Your Son, the Living Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.”

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