GardenBanter.co.uk - Following ......

..... the unwarranted outbursts on this newsgroup where it would appear that
gardening does not warrant 'manners', I found the following on the internet
which I feel would benefit many of you.
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I stumbled upon this interesting read, thought you might also be interested.
It reminds us of the importance of using Please and Thank you in emails and
conversations, especially in the professional environment.
I have a colleague who was not using the magic words in his email
communications with his peers or subordinates. I was not sure whether he
accepts my feedback and try to change himself if I give the feedback
directly. To avoid any conflict which can arise due to this, I sent the
email below to everybody in the team, including him. After the email I could
see visible change in his behaviour. he started using please in his emails.
Thanks to Manner Smith for this nice write up!

Recently, while watching a group of toddlers, I was amazed at the
courteousness they displayed. When asking for their sippy-cups, they lined
up and asked the teacher "Milk please?" Ok, most of them said something
along the lines of "Mmlk peas," but the intent was clearly there. Here was
an age-group known developmentally to be self-centered, yet they were
exhibiting the correct behaviours. Now, if toddlers can be taught to wait
their turn and to say "please" and "thank you," certainly can we reintroduce
these phrases back into the adult vernacular?

A Simple Skill: Ask any child "What is the magic word?" and they will
likely respond "please." Why is something that was so engrained in our early
vocabulary so quickly forgotten? Some would say it is a feeling of
entitlement. That we deserve to have want we want and we do not need to ask
nicely for anything. Others would argue that society on a whole is on a
downward spiral. I have a slightly more positive view. I believe that as
with any skill, we need to practice our "pleases" and "thank you's."
Occasionally, we need a reminder. As children, we were asked for the magic
word, but this is not the best prompting for adults. Here are some
alternative ideas.

Fight Fire With Flowers: Despite sometimes feeling otherwise, I do not
condone responding to bad behaviour with more bad behaviour. So what is a
gentleperson to do in today's society? During a telephone conversation with
my doctor's office, the woman at the other end told me that if I was really
that ill I should "go to the emergency room." Of course, it was not just the
uncaring words, but her snide tone that truly bothered me. Instead of
escalating the interaction, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We all have
bad days every now and then. When I visited the office a week later, I
brought her flowers with a note saying that I hoped this week would be
better than the last. In return I received a sincere phone call with her
thanks for being so understanding. (As it was, she had been at the hospital
on-call for over 48 hours immediately prior to our initial conversation.)

Courtesy Is Contagious: Years ago, when I lived in the city, I would have
a bit of fun while riding the subway during rush hour. Anyone who has worked
all day and then squeezed on to a subway to fight their way home has seen
tempers run high. Since I boarded the train at an early stop, there were
almost always seats. I would sit, until I saw someone who needed the seat
more than I did. Then in a firm tone, I would offer my seat. The tone was
more for those around me than the seat recipient. It was interesting to
notice that on the days that I offered my seat, those around me, at
subsequent stops, would also offer their seats to those in need. However, on
days when I sat with my nose in a book, rarely would any seats be offered.
Remember, your good example can set off a positive chain reaction.

In our fast-paced world, it is not uncommon to hear those who are
anti-etiquette complain that being nice just takes too long. Or worse, they
insist that the "please" and "thank you" are implied. But it is precisely
because we live in a fast-paced world that those small niceties become so
much more important. As Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners) advocates,
common courtesy is the oil that greases the wheels of society. So remember,
when you meet those squeaky wheels, please be sure to give them extra
grease. Thank you.

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and thank you for reading it.

You didn't? Why? Feel you are perfect? In the words of a once famous troll
who used to frequent this newsgroup, "I think not". Your responses will be
very interesting. Happy Gardening

Kindest regards

Mike

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