GardenBanter.co.uk - OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

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- - OT - If the Cap Fits :-))) (https://www.gardenbanter.co.uk/united-kingdom/49068-ot-if-cap-fits.html)

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

Dear All,

Below is something just posted on another newsgroup and worth a
thought by those who seek to disrupt URG.

A very Happy Christmas to all my gardening friends on the group. Look
forward to next year with plenty of genuine threads and seed, cuttings
and plant exchanges.

Iris McCanna

"I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted to,
On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross-posted to.

Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you
For thinking me a dickhead after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.

The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only mum could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;

If I survive to forty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable prat you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.

I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality".

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

: Dear All,
:
: Below is something just posted on another newsgroup and worth a
: thought by those who seek to disrupt URG.
:
: A very Happy Christmas to all my gardening friends on the group. Look
: forward to next year with plenty of genuine threads and seed, cuttings
: and plant exchanges.
:
: Iris McCanna
:
:
: "I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
:: I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
: That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality".

Like it

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

"Iris McCanna" wrote:

"I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.

Does it seriously date me that I can hear Martyn Green(r?) singing that?

For anyone to disrupt a newsgroup takes the active participation of the
rest of the group. I, for one, refuse to cooperate... see my personal page
in the .sig below for a longer rant....

Gary Woods AKA K2AHC- PGP key on request, or at www.albany.net/~gwoods
Zone 5/6 in upstate New York, 1200' elevation. NY WO G

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

Quote:

Originally posted by Iris McCanna

"I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted to,
On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross-posted to.

Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you
For thinking me a dickhead after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.

The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only mum could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;

If I survive to forty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable prat you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.

I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality". [/b]

Brilliant !!!!!!!

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:05:07 +0100, "Iris McCanna"
wrote:

Dear All,

Below is something just posted on another newsgroup and worth a
thought by those who seek to disrupt URG.

Wonderful! Which ng did this come from? I don't want to repost where
it's been seen.

OT - If the Cap Fits :-)))

The message
from Frogleg contains these words:

Wonderful! Which ng did this come from? I don't want to repost where
it's been seen.

I'd guess it's been on most - I can't remember how many years ago I saw
it first.

--
Rusty Hinge http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm

Dark thoughts about the Wumpus concerto played with piano,
iron bar and two sledge hammers. (Wumpus, 15/11/03)