GardenBanter.co.uk - View Single Post

Frank · 11-06-2014, 06:42 PM posted to rec.gardens

On 6/11/2014 1:09 PM, Higgs Boson wrote:
On Wednesday, June 11, 2014 9:22:24 AM UTC-7, Frank wrote:
On 6/11/2014 11:09 AM, Brooklyn1 wrote:

On Tue, 10 Jun 2014 16:27:59 -0700 (PDT), wrote:

BooHoo,

Last year was the first year for my peach tree to bear fruit and it did, many, many peaches. This year there would have been even more, but in one night (it seems) they were all gone.

My neighbor claims it is raccoons, but I can't be sure. We have a plum tree on the other side of the house that has always been left alone.

What can we do? We had raccoons under the deck one year and played rap music (!), and put rags soaked in ammonia under there and they left, but that won't work with this tree. Or would it?

Wouldn't rap attract coons?

Good point.

Barbra Streisand music would be better.

(Reacts excitedly): Now here's a situation ripe for scientific investigation.
All it takes is 'n' quantity of "virgin" raccoons -- no, no, not what you think -- 'coons not heretofore exposed to any school of music.

Equal number of cages, properly fitted out (food, drink, elimination, rest)

Musical device hooked up to individual speaker in each case -- stereo good but not crucial -- with controls accessible to experimenters.

Monitors attached to each 'coon -- heart, lungs, brain; others to be determined by experimental protocol, as a function of desired outcomes.

Trained experimenters to monitor the monitors.

And finally, and must crucially, a selection of music from rap to Streisand to grand opera (German AND Italian; SO different!), Australian aboriginal performed by didgeridoo artist, and on and on.

Objective: Establish which is most effective in keeping raccoons away -- while not causing the neighbors to call the police -- not forgetting to factor in latitude (temperature; day vs night; precipitation; other environmental variables.

Ah, science -- isn't it wonderful!

HB

Throw in global warming and get a government grant.