"limey" wrote in message ...
Squirrels are the bane of my existence. Does anyone have any tips?

Yup. Every fall, I befriend a big male squirrel and feed him steroids,
hormones, and peanuts all winter. When I release him in the spring he
is in a roid rage and beats the hell out of the other male squirrels.
The females take one look at his big nuts and run off .