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Old 13-06-2003, 12:33 AM
mad
 
Posts: n/a
Default Ducks and ponds?

oh, thanks, k30a. i laugh every time i read this!
mad
--
I think NASCAR would be much more exciting if, like in a
skating rink, every 15 minutes someone announced it was
time to reverse direction.

From: ESPMER (K30a)
Organization: AOL
http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: rec.ponds
Date: 12 Jun 2003 23:17:57 GMT
Subject: Ducks and ponds?

Hi Larry,

You haven given me the opportunity to post the best
answer to any question ever made to rec.ponds....

But before I do that what a duck eats depends on the individual duck. There
are
diving ducks and dabbling ducks. And it depends on the time of year, is the
duck a female preparing for reproduction and what food is available.
They will eat insects, worms, tiny frogs, snails, slugs, small shellfish,
fish,
tadpoles, aquatic insects, grasses, and other plants. Both above and under the
water.

And now for our classic duck answer
From Ian in New Zealand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a Peking duck, it's a beautiful white innocent thing that poops in
unbelievable quantities. Never mind about a bio-filter, you are going to
need a sewerage system suitable for a small town to deal with what this
duck is going to do to your pond.

would they stay or would they leave?


No need to fret on this account - ducks never take the hint. Chuck it in
the air and it'll come right back. Sure it will occasionally wander out
onto the highway, but motorists would rather run off the road and kill all
their passengers than hit a duck that's sitting looking
right at them.

Look closely at the general design of your average duck, notice that the
cranium is small. It is my belief that if you could take all the duck
brains in the world and combine them in a sort of super organic computer
you would basically have a machine with a loose bowel and a vocabulary
limited to: "quack". A duck is a natural born lobotomy.

wondering if the cats if the neighborhood would bother them.


Hell no, the neighborhood cats will not bother your duck, unless it is a
duckling which you have just presented to your young daughter. Actually you
will find the neighborhood cats will avoid close encounters with
anything that looks like a duck. This is partly because cats dislike
stepping in duck doo to get to their prey and partly because the duck
thinks any passing cat must be its mother/sister/brother/mate. Even the
staunchest Tom cat finds it unnerving to have to deal with this sort of
thing and will generally go to extremes to avoid an embarrassing encounter.

Would we need to
put a fence around it?


Sure, fence your duck, but it wont do you any good. You will still hear
screeching tires on the road and the neighbors will still phone you up to
say your duck is harassing their cat again.

If you do get a duck be sure to turn on the lights at night before your
walk across the lawn. One of the most unforgettable experiences you can
have is tripping over a sleeping duck in the dark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





k30a




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