Kathy, this is priceless! You are so talented. You should be writing books!
1....Barney Coffee Potter.
The author of Harry Potter is now the richest woman in the world!
Cheers Wendy
"K Barrett" wrote in message
news:VeVQa.58121$OZ2.10328@rwcrnsc54...
Death by Coffee.

By Eric Hunt

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind howled, branches scraped against
the siding of the GH, where all was snug, tucked up inside. Or so it
seemed.

Down at the cattleya end of the greenhouse a mixed crowd of scale and
thrips
were feasting on new buds, burst fresh from their sheaths just that
morning.

"That crowd just ruins the neighborhood" remarked a slug as he passed
Barney
the Bushsnail crawling along a rhizome. "Always flitting about, their
larvae
escaping through drainage holes. I tell you, there ought to be a law."

Barney agreed, however he didn't really feel that way. He just wanted to
let
the slug go on its way. "Down to the tray of beer, no doubt." thought
Barney. "Slugs! Ha! They are soooo predictable."

Barney liked to stay snugly hidden amongst fine roots. Away from the sturm
and drang of everyday greenhouse life. Others considered Barney to be
almost
a monk, beer never affected him the way it did common slugs and snails. He
was never lured by the wafting odors of metaldehyde. Nope, not Barney! He
learned from other pest's mistakes. Barney had assured himself of a long
and
prosperous future by being small, medium colored and investing in Intel at
$6.

Just then, as he was reflecting on his bright future, it happened. At
first
he thought a bit of the rain out doors had dripped into the pot whose
roots
he was currently feasting on. Moisture! Glorious moisture! He was a lucky
little bushsnail, now wasn't he?! And there was something different about
this moisture. Different from the usual rain. Ah! The aroma! There was a
certain complexity to the acid/tannin balance. "There must be something
dead
on the roof." thought Barney. "However its making this water really rather
intriguing. Insouciant! Piquant! And just a hint of vanilla.... ummmmm...
vanilla!" Barney crawled further into the stream, bathing fully in the
waters." Ahh! That's making my skin feel just smooth and slippery all
over!
I feel like a whole new me! Forget bo-tox! This skin peel is marvelous!"
Heady with glee Barney kept bathing and bathing. Soon he was joined by
other
mollusks. Slugs, snails and other bushsnails all partying up a big time in
the Bulbo section of the greenhouse. Someone started some music playing.
"Summer's here and the time is right, for dancing in the street!"

But then the music screached horribly to a halt.

"What's happening to your face?" a slug screamed at Barney. "Its all
melty!
Worse than [gulp] SALT!"

Barney looked around and it was true. They were all melting... melting.
Something was spoiling their horrible wickedness.

"See Kath? Its true." Eric said as he poured some left over espresso
blended
with water over the Cirr Elizabeth Ann. "Mollusks just hate the stuff."

The End

K Barrett

"Eric Hunt" wrote in message
...
Kathy,

Next time you find an infestation of bush snails, try drowning the plant
in
a drench of:

1 part strong coffee
1 part water

The caffeine in the coffee is highly toxic to mollusks.

I think I read about this either on this newsgroup or on OGD.

-Eric in SF

"K Barrett" wrote in message
news:duLQa.63936$ye4.45600@sccrnsc01...
I just tossed out a Cirr Elizabeth Ann that was loaded with bush
snails.
I