Get a humane live trap. Trap the cat. Turn it in to Animal Control along with
information on your best guess as to where the cat lives. (If the cat wears an
identification tag, bonus!) Express concern about the poor kitty possibly
getting hurt by cars or dogs. Do not bely any annoyance about cat ripping up
and defecating in garden. Put up signs about found kitty now at Animal Control.

Now it is your neighbor's turn. Frantic neighbor hopes for beloved kitty's
return. Neighbor learns that Precious is safe and living temporarily at county
shelter. Goes to get Precious. Animal Control charges in the neighborhood of
$50.00 for return of cat. Angry neighbor confronts gardener. Gardener says
nothing about flower beds and cat shit and instead expresses relief that poor
endangered cat has been returned safely to home, love and security.

Repeat as necessary. Most animal control offices will increase the fee with
each successive rescue and return.

Most important: Affect an air of goofy idiosyncracy in all your dealings with
irate neighbor. Never appear calculating or annoyed. You must always be most
concerned with poor, endangered cat who could get killed in the big bad world
out there. Become confused, not beligerent, when neighbor suggests that you
return Precious directly to him instead of expensive county agency.

Result: Cat is unharmed. Neighbor learns to keep Precious at home.
Neighborhood tranquility is preserved.

--Lia