Most of these were not funny. The problem is the owner, not the pet. Don't
harm or torture a stupid animal. Go after the stupid owner...


"Tom" wrote in message
...

NOVEL WAYS FOLKS HAVE COME UP WITH TO DEAL WITH THIS STINKY PROBLEM

=DISCLAIMER=
THE IDIOTIC IDEAS AND/OR OPINIONS EXPRESSED ON THIS PAGE ARE NOT MINE. SO
I
AIN'T RESPONSIBLE IF YOU GET YOUR SILLY ASS INTO TROUBLE FOR TRYING ANY OF
THESE THINGS.
SO THERE..

Borrow a Havehart live trap

Purchase a 10 lb. bag of Scat and scatter it

Live trap the mutt and take it down to the animal shelter.

FIRECRACKERS

motion detecting, ultrasonic emitters

Soak some sponges in bacon grease and feed them to the dog.

just use a steel trap to catch the damn critter and then bludgeon it to
death with a baseball bat. Throw the dead dog on their front porch.

covered the dog piles in his yard with bacon grease.

mineral oil in raw hamburger meat balls

drop a couple boxes of EXLAX around the area.

mixture of black pepper and water in a plant mister

put out some refreshments for the dog, auto radiator coolant

pick up the poop, put in a paper bag, set on offending neighbors
concrete front step at safe distance from house,
set onfire, ring doorbell and run..

gift wrapping them, and leaving them on the neighbors step

Kidnap the dog, throw it out into traffic on your local interstate.
Preferably in front of an 18 wheeler.

Shooting the dog, or something along those lines,
seems extreme but it's too often the only remedy.

it is better to whack the dog with an ball bat.

We also dumped it on the hood of their car.

I'd spend money to mail the box and let my imagination
enjoy the thought of them opening it.

If it was a friendly and basically good dog
I would steal it and find a better home for it.

Just get yourself a bigger, meaner dog.

Put the crap on animal control's front stoop

tie up the animal if he comes onto your property
and then have animal control come and get him.

You can get various screamers that claim to keep animals away

a low, cheap fence

Pepper spray.

"Repel"

Get yourself a camera, and when you catch them doing it,
get right in their face and snap a photo

after the next 'deposit' - remove the crap then wash
the area down heavily to reduce/eliminate the odor.

leave the dog a little snack of hamburger,
fortified with a nice dose of ex-lax.

Best bet is to capture the dog and have animal control come get it.

consider a single line of electrical fencing.

water cannons

a tape recording set to yell "get out of the yard", bad dog,bad dog.
whatever.

spray the area he crapped on with perfume

garlic, horseradish and hot pepper

let it be impounded by a remote location,
then anonymously notify the owner

I shoot the dog, call the neighbor

I would just go crap in your neighbors yard

catch the dog in your garage

scooped it all into a 5 gallon bucket, poured in hot water,
stirred it up with a shovel handle, and then proceeded to
"brown wash" the neighbors house with the mixture.

give one warning and shoot the dog.

10 pump crossman air rifle is in order.

a bb shot in the offending dog's ass.

Call the news-paper

camcorder movie of the OWNERS and their dogs leaving the deposits

Just use a stick an move it all onto their lawn.

buy a case of the cheapest canned gravey you can find. Pour one over
the droppings and the next morning they'll magically be gone.

pick it up with my garden fork and put it in the compost heap.

use a bow and arrow

put some of the dog droppings on the neighbor's doorknob

(and this is classic)
The one thing that is important to remember...
it's almost NEVER the dog's fault.

I just pop the dog with a pellet gun anytime I see it
near our property.

Put green water soluble lawn dye like GreenPlus all over the area where
it craps moments before it comes over.

We used a bb gun when no one was watching. Worked like a charm.

For the ultimate resolution you could just take the initiative and
make the dog disappear.

"the magic meatball" with an embedded ex-lax.

Send the dog's owner a registered letter asking him to cease allowing his
pet to defecate on your lawn.

YOU take a dump on his property, his car, his sidewalk.

Remington .22 subsonic bullet......