"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!