Speaking of fences, can I make my (miserable) neighbour maintain his side
of
the new fence which we put up last year? It's our fence and we have
painted
our side with timbercare but he never looks after anything in his garden.
His missus doesn't mind banging nails into our fence and growing her roses
up it but they can't be a***ed to maintain it. Can i make him paint it or
can I insist on access to his garden to paint it myself?

Legally you can stop them banging nails etc. in and you can get a court
order to allow access for maintenance. Having said that it is a very bad
idea to fall out with your neighbours since you will have to declare any
disputes if and when you sell your house. Far better to go and talk to them
and try and persuade them to be more reasonable.