"OrangeMan" wrote in message
...
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign
read:"Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman". The salesman bought a ticket and
sat
down.There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing
next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt,
whipped
out his huge member and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty
swings! The
crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the
shoulders
of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw the
faded
sign for the same circus and the same sign "Don't Miss The Amazing
Scotsman".
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his
act!
He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This
time,however,
instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.The Scotsman
stood
before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and smashed the coconuts with
three
swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know
something.You're
older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Well," said the Scot, "Me eyes are nae whit they used to be!!."

The same Scotsman had a grandson at junior school. One day they were given
a sex lecture. The teacher put up on the wall a graphic diagram of a man.
The teacher asked the class if they knew what the diagram showed, and what
it was for. The Scotsman's Grandson excitedly put his hand up and said that
he did, and his dad had two. "No Hamish" explained the teacher, "That is
impossible." The lad kept insisting, so in the end the teacher out of
exasperation told him to explain.
"Well," said the lad,"Dad has two, a small one to urinate with and a huge
one to clean the au pair's teeth with."
Cheers
John T