The message
from Jaques d'Alltrades contains these words:

The message
from Janet Baraclough contains these words:

Please tell all. "Raccoons in the garden" is an urg legend. For you to
have actually had some, in the UK, is roughly the equivalent of an
urgler reporting irrefutable evidence of fairies at the bottom of their
garden. Instant fame! :-)

What's so odd about fairies at the bottom of your garden? I used to know
someone who lived in Govan.......

Speaking as one who taught Marine Plumbers, one fears for the safety
of any fairy who dared enter the bottom of anything in Govan.

Janet