Ya'll varmints kin seez watt ya'll's wantsta, I'll be thinkin about ya'll'z
win I be a sittin' by the pond en ma shirt sleeves this here comin' January.
Them there pond raised crawpaws is tasty too.

"KenCo" wrote in message
...

(Translated for clarity)

sar this hyar on t'other group....

No'th VS South Eff'n yer fum th' no'thern states an' plannin' on visitin' o'
movin' to th' South, thar is a few thin's yo' sh'd knows thet will he'p yo'
adapp to th' difference in lifestyles:

Th' No'th has a six pack houses, Th' South has Waffle Houses.

Th' No'th has datin' services, Th' South has fambly reunions.

Th' No'th has switchblade knives, Th' South has Lee Press-on Nails.

Th' No'th has double last names, Th' South has double fust names.

Th' No'th has Ted Kennedy, Th' South has Jesse Helms.

Th' No'th has Indy car races, Th' South has stock car races. (Go Beeel)

Th' No'th has Cream of Wheat, Th' South has grits.

Th' No'th has green salads, Th' South has collard greens.

Th' No'th has lobsters, Th' South has crawPaws.

Th' No'th has th' rest belt, Th' South has th' Bible Belt.

In th' South: --Eff'n yo' helter-skelter yer car into a ditch, doesn't
panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck wif a tow chain will be
along sho'tly. Don't try t'he'p them, jest stay outta their way. This hyar
is whut they live fo'.

Don't be surprised t'find movie rentals an' bait in th' same sto'e....do not
buy grub at this hyar sto'e.

Remember, "y'all" is sin'ular, "all y'all" is plural, an' "all y'all's is
plural postessive. Git used t'hearin' "Yo' ain't fum roun' hyar, is ya?"
Don't be wo'ried at not unnerstan'in' whut varmints is sayin'. They kin't
unnerstan' yo' eifer.

Th' fust Southern statement t'creep into a transplanted No'therner's
vocabulary is th' adjeckive trimenjus'ol," truck o' "trimenjus'ol" fella.
Most No'therners begin their Southern-influenced dialeck this way. All of
them is in denial about it.

Th' right pronunciashun yo' larned in skoo is no longer right. Be advised
thet "He needed killin" is a valid defense hyar.

Eff'n yo' hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," yo' sh'd stay
outta th' way. These is likely t'be th' last wo'ds he'll evah say.

Eff'n thar is th' predickshun of th' slightess chance of even th' smallest
accumulashun of snow, yer presence is required at th' local grocery sto'e.
It don't matter whether yo' need ennythin' o' not. Yo' jest have to go thar.

Do not be surprised t'find thet 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, an' their mammas taught them how t'aim, dawgone it.

In th' South, we haf foun' thet th' bess way t'grow a lush green lawn is to
pour gravel on it an' call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: Eff'n yo' does settle in th' South an' bar chillun, doesn't
reckon we will accepp them as Southerners. Af'er all, eff'n th' cat had
kittens in the oven, we'dn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a fine day! Fry mah hide! Send this hyar to four varmints thet ain't
related t'yo', an' reckon yer life will turn into a country moosic song
'fo'e yo' knows it! Fry mah hide!

-- http://www.kencofish.com Ken Ole Jeb, 401-781-9642 cell 401-225-0556
Impo'ter/Expo'ter of Goldfish,Koi,rare Predato's Shippin' t'legal
states/countries only! Fry mah hide! Permalon liners, Oase & Supreme
Pondmaster pumps Linux (SuSE 8.2) user #329121 Please Note: No trees o'
animals were harmed in th' sendin' of this hyar contaminant free message We
does concede thet a signicant number of eleckrons may haf been
inconvenienced