"martin" wrote

KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

And more in a similar mode..............

Actual Headlines that escaped editorial scrutiny:

Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police begin Campaign to run down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus Passengers should be Belted
Drunk gets nine months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins joins Parents
Farmer Bill dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Ring of Debris Spotted Around Uranus
Stud Tires Unnecessary; Regular Tires, Better Performance
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles in Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off the Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Squad Helps Dog Bite Kids
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane too close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendent
Two Soviet Ships collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
War dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't settled quickly, It may last a While
Cold Wave linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple slain; Police suspect homicide
Red Tape holds up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut takes blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids make Nutritional Snacks
Chef throws his Heart into Helping Feed Needs
Arson Suspect Connected to Massachusetts Fire
British Union finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents can drop off Trees
Local High School Dropouts cut in Half
New Vaccine may contain Rabies
Man minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are replaces by Alumni
Bank Drive-Up Window blocked by Board
Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Jenny