Well, I send about 200 pieces of mail art out into the world each month.
Some to people I've traded stuff with for twenty years, some to people I
don't know at all. When sending to new people I suspect less than a third
respond by sending mail art in return, which according to the rules of the
game all mail-artists are supposed to do. But my sentiment has always been
if I get something in return, super; if I don't get something in return,
no big deal, cuz maybe even then I spread a momentary delight to someone
before they tossed my art in the garbage, or better still magnetted it to
their refrigerator. I don't need to know what happened. My first reward is
that I did it at all. If I get a second reward of someone informing me
they were made happy by it, or a third reward in being made happy by
someone else's art sent to me, or in some cases the shocking reward of
discovering that something I made ten years ago is permanently archived in
museums in Cuba, Hungary, Canada, England, & the United States -- well,
the less reward sought, the more reward there seems to be!

I've heard mail artists complain the way Helen complained about seeds,
that they send out mail art to people who say they are mail artists, who
are supposed to send art back, but who never respond in any manner -- no
expression of grattitude, no acknowledgement, nothing in trade, nada,
whine, winge, woe is me the Great Sharer. I say stop kvetching -- or stop
sharing if it makes you so whiny. The purpose of sharing is not personal
gain. And a 20% response rate is a HUGE personal gain even though even
that shouldn't be required.

In Helen's case it's even a little like giving away samples of candy in
the grocery store & expecting them to come back the next day to say thank
you -- if they can't say thank you up front & that be enough, then don't
bother. And a properly addressed envelop or package gets there 99.999999%
of the time, so requiring acknowledgement that it was at least received is
just an exuse for the neediness. I think most people would feel if they
gave away 100 packets of seeds and made as few as two lasting friends from
the deal, good lord that's fantastic. Griping about the others is
churlish.

Over the years I've sent out hundreds of packets of seeds myself. I've
even made a few friends that way. As you say - great, fantastic, I'm
glad I did it, and I'll do it again.

Being considerate of others is a necessity in our crowded world. There
are far too many people who have been raised with a sense of
entitlement, that the world *owes* them the
credit/degree/boobs/whathaveyou that they deserve. Why should they
think that their nice new seeds, or mail art are yet one more thing
owed them. I think it is rude to offer no thanks for a deed done, and
if saying so reminds a few people of their lapse in manners we're all
better off. Some people will never get the message, they're too
selfish, but if every now and then someone stands up and says "You
morons! Where are your manners!", a few will get the point.

Helen's not whining - she's ****ed off and is giving a well deserved
chewing out to the people that deserve it. Her post was both a public
thanks to the those who appreciated her seeds, and a PFO letter to the
others that took her seeds and ran. Should we all decide that
expressing dissatisfaction is a no-no? Heavens! Our self esteem might
suffer if someone said something bad - cant have that! We've all told
people off for poor behavior, and we need to continue doing it from
time to time when it persists.

BP