I was fortunate enough to get a free garden design from a well-known
garden designer soon after I bought this 100-yr old house. The trouble
with designers is that they seem to think so big! My boundary (200m of
it!) is defined by over 100 conifers planted about 4 years ago by the
previous owner. "Dig 'em up" said my man, "and plant some natural
hedging plants like beech or hornbeam to belnd in with the
environment." OK, I'm not crazy about conifers myself but how many
£000s has that just cost me?

"Oh, and you need a 6ft brick wall along the front of the property," he
added, in the same breath. I know that's £25,000.

"You don't want a lawn there," he said, pointing to my favourite,
weed-free 10m x 5m patch outside the conservatory. "Turn it into gravel
and plant a few trees in it." More £000s.

Then he set about moving a lot of very mature plants and shrubs
including variegated ivies, climbing roses, etc. "Get a mechanical
digger and move them over there," he said, waving into the distance.

"And your driveway goes down the wrong side of the house," he added for
good measure. "Move it to the other side which is much less useful
space - and you'll have to fill in that pond."

Now, I admire and respect this person - and I actually agree with just
about everything he said. But the bill for all the works would be at
least £50,000. Of course, he's used to dealing with large estates and
people with plenty of money - but couldn't he _see_ my ancient car in
the driveway and my threadbare clothes?

Perfection is simply unattainable for me. I'll just do some weeding.

Stan