Just when you thought you heard everything:

A friend relayed a story to me of a neighbor who decided that he wanted to
get rid of a tree.

He decides, for whatever reason, that it would be best to kill the tree
before cutting it.

His method to kill the tree: mix together FIVE GALLONS of "Roundup", FOUR
GALLONS of "Weed B-Gone", a bag of Scott's granular weed killer, and a half
gallon of TURPENTINE ("for extra good measure"?) and pour the concoction
into the ground at the base of three tree.