"martin" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 03 Jun 2004 14:51:28 +0100, Sacha
wrote:

On 3/6/04 10:26, in article ,
"martin" wrote:

On Thu, 03 Jun 2004 10:11:01 +0100, Sacha
wrote:
snip

Cheltenham seems to be ahead of you - I haven't read it yet but Ray
says he's seen something that indicates that the council has decided
not to
do any public planting because their workers might hurt themselves
using
gardening tools such as rakes, spades, trowels etc.

Judging by our local authority, the next step will be to get rid of
all workers and replace them with administrators.

Apparently this is because the ground is so hard they might hurt
themselves!

LOL

Good job we're not 'digging for victory', isn't it?

Not many people know that certain expat urglers are on the local
escape committee :-)

Be very careful where you put those mole traps.

LOL,
You might well joke but I recall an incident involving a mains water pipe to
a house.
Whoever had positioned it had done so within 2 inches of the lawn's surface
and sure enough, sticking a garden fork in one day resulted in a geezer.
Having being experience with irrigation systems, I wasn't too bothered, but
this being a mains pipe I wondered if I might be allowed to fix it.
First things first, turn off the water. But no stop-cock could be found. So
I knocked on the neighbours and asked if they knew where theirs might be so
I can find the one I need by comparison, oh and might he have a work number
for the customer.
The neighbour shut the door telling me not to touch another thing.
So I waited for him to return and have a bit more to offer. But no. Looking
at the slightly sunken lawn quickly becoming a filthy shallow pond I decided
to make some sort of emergency stoppage to the flow... if I could find the
location again.
I was no sooner back rummaging around in the water when I heard sirens.
Police I noticed and then noticed the somewhat different vehicle. Then they
carried out an odd manoeuvre and whizzed up alongside me driving in reverse.
On stopping, the passenger gave the driver something that looked just like a
shotgun and then he picked up his own. They both sat there glaring at me,
weapons, or whatever they were, at the ready. I didn't move. I expected some
sort of challenge. But no. Silence. I hesitated to make any move whatsoever.
Finally I figured that if I didn't at least try to speak to them, they might
just shoot me in any case. I said; "He called you out for this?"
They relaxed, put down their toys, said something about the neighbour
deserving to be locked up and then simply drove off.
To this day I wished they had at least knocked on his door.
Much later I discovered he was inclined to refer to himself as a judge.Quite
an escape from reality.
I can just see it. He dials 999, says he's judge something-or-other and
there's an Irish man at the door.


Patrick