Democrat convention schedule
Democrat National Convention Schedule
6:00pm - Opening prayer by Bishop Eugene Anderson
6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer by Imam Sadiq al-Sadir
via satellite
6:30pm - French national anthem sung by Hole
6:45pm - Opening remarks by Larry Flint
7:00pm - Canonization of New Jersey governor James McGreevey
7:15pm - Additional prayers to GAIA
7:30pm - Exhibition by NAMBLA: How to pick up young boys
8:00pm - Presentation of policy paper on lowering age of consent
of males to eight
8:15pm - Celebration of the burning of 200 Christian churches by
Albanian moslems
8:30pm - Stoning of two Boy Scouts
8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by Jack Kevorkian
9:00pm - Homily to the invasion of Waco
9:15pm - Currency trafficking robber barron, George Soros, contributes
1.4 billion to Democrat party
9:30pm - Harvey Feirstein declares Kerry the first queer president
9:45pm - Kerry tells how botox erased the scars for which he received
three purple hearts
9:50pm - Kerry intones his ³Christmas in Cambodia² story, declares
it central turning point in his life
10:00pm - Theresa Heinz bumps into peasant, tells him to go f*ck himself
10:15pm - Recall of troops from everywhere
10:30pm - Burning at the stake of doctor who accidentally allowed
partial birth abortion ³patient² to be born alive.
10:45pm - Supplementary demonstration by NAMBLA: How to pick up
really young boys
11:00pm - Ritual scourging of two tax protesters
11:15pm - New marriage policy presented by PETA
11:45pm - Democrat platform amended to include preferential adoption
of young boys by gay male couples
12:00pm - John Edwards tells the secret of getting rich by suing
hospitals into bankruptcy
12:15am - Berkeley and Fallujah named sister cities
1:30am - Closing speech by Dick Cutter, president, Transsexuals for Kerry
1:45am - Instead of balloons, thousands of tubes of K/Y jelly drop
from the ceiling onto excited convention revelers below
2:00am - Doors are locked, males and females segregated, saturnalia
lasts until dawn
9:00am to Noon - Exhausted Democrats butt-walk to their rented SUV¹s
and drive to airport
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