Thanks for such a warm welcome mike.... why should this be a joke???

For the questions asked and doubts in mikes mind i shall elaborate on what my garden consists of:

The garden is roughly 17 metres long by 7 metres wide, the garden has suffered around 5 years of neglect and absolutly nothing grows there. There are 2 small lawn areas which i have cut down to a resonable state although the grass is of poor quality in areas due to lack of sun and moss readily grows in this area also.
The lawns run from the house to around 6 metres up the garden stretching the width of the garden. the rest of the garden has not been touched in years and there is all sorts of weeds and such growing there. The area is that over grown that digging is impossible for all the roots that are there. They are small stringy roots which need to be killed off really to weaken them.

The garden is completly uneven, especially at the bottom end so i want this all leveling out.

Yes.. it was roundup that i saw, my apologies. Basically, nothign in this apauling garden will remain the same. Every last detail will change and i know exactly what i want and where i want it. The part of the garden which gets no sun will be patio'd. I want a decebt sized custom point spanning the width of the garden with a wooden bridge over it. At the bottom of the garden will be a decking area for BBQ's and a wooden summerhouse overlooking the pond.

The plants and suchlike wont be thought about this year. My main aim is to get the foundations of what i want in my garden done in the coming months.