GardenBanter.co.uk - View Single Post - Global warming? "Evidence" from my garden?

23-08-2005, 07:56 PM

The message
from (WaltA) contains these words:

On 23 Aug 2005 09:38:48 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:
In article ,
martin writes:
| On 23 Aug 2005 08:46:07 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:
| | This is getting really weird.
| Nah. Try uk.rec.sheds.
| Pervert! :-)

Now, THAT'S unfair! I must stand up for the sheddies here.

Here ? Amongst us, now ?
shed
Can the minister explain how this was allowed to happen,
where were our border patrols?
Inside some huts drinking tea perhaps ? Consuming wild mushrooms
gathered from their gardens and compost heaps ?

Much more likely to be consuming tea and biccies, or PPs and BA.

What does the minister propose to do to rectify this situation.
I propose that he should immediately begin a program of super-shed
building to contain these miscreants.
In light of this dreadful dereliction of duty the minister should
consider his position !

This is the Shed's annual charabangbangbangbang outing. Usually we go to
uk.rec.motorcycles for a touch of culture, but it seems there's been a
change of plan this year.

They
aren't perverted, but are such independent thinkers that they have
little direct contact with the real world[*] or even uk.rec.gardening.

[*] As many authors have pointed out, the inside of ancient and
well-cluttered storage units, such as sheds and wardrobes, tends
to attach itself to other universes. Nobody knows why.

*WE* know why, but it is forbidden to diverge the secret.

Mass, that is why. An excess of mass. Eventually so much mass
accumulates that a black hole is formed and the shed collapses in upon
itself. If the last item added was not aimed directly into the centre,
but entered with some angular momentum, then a rotating black hole
will be formed which will then reappear (*) at any time (past or
future) at any place in any universe.
(*) as a white hole after losing some mass by Hawking radiation.

Some poor souls have even tried to use this as a worm-hole to other
places and times by incorporating an extra door in the shed and
attempting to traverse the shed-hole within its Schwarzschild radius.
This inevitably ends in tears.
/shed

This is
why things disappear and strange things appear in such units, and
accounts for the postings on uk.rec.sheds.

Hmmmm. I goove we need to kidnap this one and keep him to play with - he
has dangerous depths of esoteric nollij. Sort-of like a riddle within a
miss tree within an enema, all behind a screen of red checky curtings.

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/