kt wrote:
we can trim it from our side - we were also going to offer to trim his
side as well. we also have 3 smallish trees on our land which don't
"seem" to be causing a nuisance to him (don't block light etc)which he
wants to cut down which again will make us even more exposed - in fact,
postively naked!

we would like to be good neighbours as well as having some privacy
although this may not happen as these issues seem to become very
emotive from what i gather

In reasonable times be reasonable but the tree thing I'd politely
tell him to sod off. It's not your responsibility to improve the
quality of life of your neighbours at your own detriment.