"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts
from the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics
and giving the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with
loud crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first
four stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that
venturing INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more
food, problem was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left
the door open to the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware
that the dog was now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued
with Tree Rat 1 having a clear advantage of being able to use smaller
gaps through furniture than a 4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door
to the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air
from my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE
in my finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of water,
making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't
take long.

Of course it might SEEM like a long time with TR1 dangling from extremity
....

Mary