Let's see what God might have to say about this:

Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis
on the subject of lawns:

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a
perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of
soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from
the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks
of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But
all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it-sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will
grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut
back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth
and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water
it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the
autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep
moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural
circle of life.

St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy
something which they call mulch. Then haul it home and spread it
around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St.
Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you
scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie
about...

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St.
Francis.