Niles wrote:

There was an old poof from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
About who had the right
To do what, and with what, and to whom

There once was a man from Dundee,
Who said "I can fart while I pee",
I replied with some with, "I can belch while I shit",
So I think that was one up to me!

Another young chappy from Leeds,
He swallowed a packet of seeds,
Tufts of grass grew out of his arse,
And his ******** were covered in weeds....