Thank you all for your unreserved suggestions.

I have since come to the conclusion that the best step is to MOVE. But, rest assured that my new home will be planted from the stock and knowledge of this thread.

As to the warring parties, perhaps they would be a wise choice to line my hedge - seem thorny, robust and climby enough to me :P

Frankly, spread a little love, people. The world is full of ugliness as it is.

Oh, by the way - stop referring to me as a girl - Serene Blue refers to my fav sport - FISHING! no flames, to each HIS own

Udhi