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Old 09-03-2007, 08:03 AM posted to uk.rec.gardening
Muddymike Muddymike is offline
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Nov 2006
Posts: 503
Default OT a joke to lighten the mood

Enough of all the bickering, its Friday, so here is a joke to lighten the
mood.

A man is working on the busses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the
bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman not quite on the bus.
The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the
trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to
the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants
him a final wish.
"Well", says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes", answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds
of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is
still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go then?", the man asks.
"I suppose so", says the executioner, "that's never happened before".
The man leaves and eventually gets a job with another bus company selling
tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still
getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent
down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up
to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the
executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats
the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the
smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.
The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe it, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time
killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet again.
The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to the chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish?", asks the executioner.
"Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed
lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through
the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without
even a burn mark.
"I give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be
alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that
green banana isn't it", he asked.

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Wait for it.

"Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor"



Mike