"Janet Baraclough" wrote in message
...
The message
from "JoeSpareBedroom" contains these words:

Unrelated, but here's what I need: A shrub that'll grow about 6 feet
tall,
with thorns that'll stop an armored humvee (and dogs). The thorns should
retract when I need to trim the shrub. Dappled sun all day. The plant
should
be able to discuss fishing or music during its occasional haircuts.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

I think what you're looking for, is a man. Look for the ex-services
model which comes in camouflage greens with a barb-wire tattoo and its
own rocket-launcher.

Janet.

Or, leeetle tiny land mines. Just enough to help train every dog in the
neighborhood to tell their owners to walk on the other side of the street,
forever.