Today I caught my first shoplifter. Regular customers, a pair. Always come
in together. One of them starts photographing my plants and the other
presents me with a list of plants from my online catalog to gather for him
while he looks around. This is normal for the pair. Today while I am
gathering plants from the list I notice one of the guys carrying a plant
from my Paph bench in the greenhouse into the checkout area/potting room. A
few minutes later I notice it is not among the pile of plants I am
collecting for him and then spy it tucked inside the bin of large potting
mix hidden in a shadow. So I am watching.... During checkout one of them
wanted me to get another plant from the greenhouse and as I was going back
in there I glanced to see if the hidden plant was still in the potting bin.
It was. One of guys followed me into the greenhouse to take more pictures
and tried to talk to me but I hurried back into the checkout area. The
plant in the potting bin was gone and so was the guy who sent me back into
the greenhouse. I caught up with them (the plant and the guy) in the
parking lot as he was going around the corner of his van trying to keep the
plant he had hidden in the potting bin hidden from my line of sight by his
body but he was caught and he gave it back.

Well, I don't think these regulars will be regulars anymore. And I don't
want to talk about them anymore. It makes me feel icky.

What I wanted to talk about was the OPPOSITE of shoplifting. While these
two guys were here in my greenhouse doing their thing so was another couple
I see on a regular basis. This couple are friends, not just regular
customers. One of them sits on the "orchid widow bench" and knits socks and
hats while her husband looks around the greenhouse. (There is a bench in my
greenhouse for the non-orchid collector of the couples who come in. I can
always tell who the orchid collector is in the family by who DOESN'T
eventually sit down on the orchid widow bench).

This guy went nutty into orchids when he first got into them a few years ago
and he over-bought. I tried to warn him... I try to warn all my friends...
Anyway, he bought not just from my greenhouse, but from everywhere and
everybody. He bought some of everything. He used to come help me repot
orchids when I got behind and would not let me give him money. Very
eccentric, dude. Way back when I told him I knew the pattern and could see
the future....and that one day he was going to show up with his whole
collection and try to sell it to me and I was going to say no because that's
the rule: "I don't buy orchids back when people are done with them," and
that unwanted orchids belonged on the table at the local orchid society
meetings. That's what those monthly Orchid Anonymous meeting are
for....right?

I also have another strict rule, a corollary to the above rule: Plants left
in my greenhouse for any reason belong to me. Period. This rule may make
sense to some of you and seem rude to others, but it is how I separate MY
plants from all the orchids that try to come live in my greenhouse. All my
orchid collecting friends are well aware of my rule. Next time one of you
is shopping here and brings me a plant and asks how much it costs and I say,
"That's not for sale and I don't even remember which of my friends it
belongs to", you may understand the frustrated look on my face and the
reason for my rude rules. Nobody ever pays any attention to me and my
rules.

Anyway, now this guy with the huge orchid collection has gotten control of
the addiction and is quietly downsizing it to a more manageable level. To
accomplish this, every few weeks while the orchid widow distracts me with a
colorful ball of yarn he sneaks a few plants into my greenhouse and hides
them among my stock because, well...see above rules and portends.

It is an open secret. I am not suppose to notice. So far nobody has tried
to buy one and I have not had to face any of the ethical questions his
abandonment of his plants has created.

Anyway, to make a long story short....I don't know what to call him and his
strange habit... Today I had the Bizarro World experience of watching one
couple shoplift while another couple...what? Shopdropped?

Well, enough from me.