"Jack" wrote in message
ps.com...
Immigration Office:

To whom it ma concern:
As A Floridian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service,
I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status fron U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
U.S. Senate.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an
illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I
need do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes
for three of the last five years..

I know a good deal when I see one and I'm anxious to get the process
started before everyone figures this out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year, so I'm very excited about the prospect of avoiding
two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we
paid very heavy taxes in 2005 and 2006.

Additionally:
As an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my
primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for
medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my son would
receive preferential treatment relative to his law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States.

Lastly:
I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become an
illegal alien (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance,
U.S. Taxpayer...

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The proposed law makes no sense. Illegal aliens usually do not receive
documented pay like a paycheck/direct deposit. They receive cash, turn
around, and use cash to pay for their way. There's no record of pay, so how
would IRS verify their prior 3 years income?

Not all illegal aliens work in farms/orchard areas as another reply
insinuated. Most don't stop in the farm or orchard and look for work. They
continue their way for more gainful work.

Subsidy is a form of giving away taxpayer money. If so, such a policy (our
money) is promoting illegal alien workers to move to this country. That
doesn't surprise me at all. Border patrol agents should not do their job,
ask Bush.
Dave