"Sacha" wrote in message
. uk...
Sorry to answer this on the back of Judith's post but your original does
not
appear on my screen. Do you, perhaps, normally post under some other
name?

I only post under one name. I have always posted to newsgroups under the
name Space.


The correct way to deal with this is to offer the advice you believe to
be
correct.

That's what I did. I said that the advice offered re oleanders in
Bordeaux
was dangerous for someone planting in Judith's home's area and offered
advice I believed to be more relevant. All hell and a couple of
thunderbolts then descended on my head.

so you did. and yes all hell broke out however it broke out in a different
thread, and was not started by the discussion of an Oleander. It was
started/allowed to continue by La Puce offering an opinion on Mike.

but can we all learn something from this? don't answer back. let Judith
see your response, La Puce's response and then your reply to La Puce's.
anything else that comes your way - dodge! we all want the last word in a
debate. but it is sometimes better not to respond. let's not forget that we
are discussing this now under Mike's thread. His intention was to cause
trouble, and he got his own way. now - seeing as you and Mike don't get on
why did you let him get his way?

it is up to the OP to look at the posts and to decide based on a
number of views which is the best cause of action to take. one would
hope
that enough replies are received and therefore the OP can look at the
the
replies to see consistency. Judith posts on a regular basis. if what
is
said about La Puce is true then Judith is more than aware of this.

It is up to urg and its collective individuals to make sure the advice it
offers is as good as it can be. If the OP is a total beginner with no
knowledge whatsoever and on his or her first visit to a gardening group,
the
wrong advice could be lethal to their plants. It would be better for
urg's
reputation if we avoid that. Judith's case was just an example and
because
she's a regular she knows what to accept or discard. Newbies are not so
fortunate.

my point exactly. offer advice, where necessary/possible provide evidence
if you believe someone else to be incorrect. This can be done
constructively. at the end of the day it is Judith's and others
responsibility to ensure they have gathered enough information.


I do not believe it is right that these slagging off sessions continue
at
every opportunity. let's all look after our own back gardens, give
advice
where applicable and let people make their own minds up.

It would be nice not to be slagged off as old, ugly or insulted as to
one's
marriage, family, husband etc. when contradicting bad advice but when
that's
done to me I consider the source, as I did this time. However an OP
cannot
make up their mind or consider the source, if starting from a position of
total ignorance and asking for advice the first time.

yes- it would be nice to be treated with respect and not to be slagged off.
but don't provide any ammunition. and by that I mean if you don't
respond/retaliate the poster has nowhere to go.

Now, all that I have said is a reflection of how we should conduct
ourselves. Consider how this situation would be dealt with if it was
someone who frequented your local social club/pub etc. for me, I would fume
about the situation to my friends, not hire a microphone and announce it to
all and sundry.

I don't consider that my reflection warrants a response. to do so would
just drag out this horrid thread. Although it would seem that I am carrying
on this thread. I hope not. My intention is to stop this thread and more
importantly to stop similar threads in the future. it is boring !!!