JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

[....]

The fork is also excellent for menacing recalcitrant dog walkers (criminals)
who are about to walk away from your lawn with picking up the gift their
dogs leave. Skip the "please" stage, hold fork the right way, and tell the
dog criminal what to do. They'll pick up the dog gift with their bare hands
and leave quickly.

first they took the guns. then they took the
knives. next they'll take the forks.

g