"paghat" wrote in message
...
Christian wrote:
Hi. I own a business "Professional Pond Maintenance and Fish Care".
I'm not here to promote my business. I only serve the Southern Oregon
area. I'm wanting to get any and all feedback, positive or negative,
on a website I designed recently to go with it. I advertise locally
and direct folks to my site for more information.

Here is the link:
http://allyoudoisfeedthefish.net/index.html

What do you think of the basic design?
Can you read it easily?
Ads or no ads?

I'm thinking people here are close to my target audience, being that
garden lovers usually like ponds even if they don't personally have
one.

Thank You,
Christian

I'm afraid the writing's just about as bad as it can get. It might get by
in an amateur blog about ponds, but nothing about it says you should be
trusted on anyone's property piddling in their ponds. Lines like this:

"A person many times sees pictures or a friends pond and thinks wow that
would be nice.."

sounds borderline retarded, though

"Growing up I built a lot of backyard dams in my dirt pile"

corrects the impression somewhat, indicating to a potential client that
the website belongs to a junior high school student who'd rather do this
than mow lawns, but hasn't done any of it so far. If you ARE a junior high
schooler then how cute is that. If you're not, such immaturity in an adult
indicates diminished capacity.

That could be just a lack of writing skill giving entirely the wrong
impression, and if you have a friend or family member who is both a
skilled writer and willing to help revise your text toward the
professional tone your website title promises, maybe the text can be
improved to give the impression of a competent adult rather than a widdy
kiddle.

I would be absolutely stunned if you to get a client from this web page
EVER. There are no quality photos of gorgeous ponds you've cared for, even
if only your own, to give an impression of the quality of work you've done
in the past. The photos of some spot you found in the wild in no way
indicate pond management abilities and again gives an impression of
juvenility. A picture of you in waders in a beautiful pond using the
specialty equipment doing the "vacuuming" you alude to might lend to
better expectation of what you can do.

There's no indication of training or expertise of any kind, other than
building dams in your "dirt pile." There's awkwardly written thoughts on
"what pond maintenance means to me" and that's cute but people don't
usually trust paid work to cuteness in lieu of proof of experience and
ability.

-paghat the ratgirl


Sew ur sayin u don like it. don hOld bacK be honist.

:-)