"symplastless" wrote in message
. ..

Grass lawns have to be
the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits!

I have to agree that as a ground cover in a domestic situation grass leaves
much to be desired, except where a play area for sports or small children is
required.

But I must take issue with your mistake regarding thong swimsuits. From the
start I am tempted to say that grass lawns are better outside of thong
swimsuits than inside. That would be flippant and the matter requires a
serious reply.

For a start thongs are efficient. In this era of growing population and
limited resources we must conserve materials such as natural fibres. Would
you go back to neck-to-knee? Think of how many thongs you could make with
that much cloth. Also they take very little washing thus saving water on this
thirsty world.

Secondly they generate additional jobs. Is there full employment where you
live? If you had more thongs in regular use then you would require more
depilitators and so have job growth. There is a clear mathematical
relationship here, the smaller the swimsuit then the more artful waxing,
shaving and plucking is required.

Before you get carried away and suggest that this implies maximal employment
where no swimsuits are worn consider this. If one allows it to all hang out
(so to speak) there is no need for depilitation. In fact some might need to
thicken their thatch. A township of nudists might experience a small growth
in the sale of combs but a manufacturing industry is nowhere near as benefical
as a labour-intensive service industry - so stick to thongs! Hair removal is
also earth-friendly because, as we know, hair in modest amounts is quite
suitable for composting.

Thirdly you clearly spend far too much time admiring trees and do not give
sufficient attention to people. Next time you are at the beach leave your
shigometry texts at home, a big hat and dark glasses will do far more to
improve the density of your wood.

David