[quote=arky;798089]1, well first you need a good bed of bull manure the fresher the better .
2, you need to keep it well fed with a good liquid feed, probably some thing like 4 pints of bitter a day should do it .
3, give it a good shake now and then and it will stand up better.
4. if you argue with it at night just before it goes to sleep you will remind it its married.