Taking some days off to work on the yard, and coming face-to-face with
The Mighty Dandelion.
Freaking dandelions! When I close my eyes, they're etched into my memory.
There they stand, seed heads raised tauntingly in the air like a bunch
of spore-laden bird fingers, as if it were some kind of botanical White
Pride rally. I took some out with a hoe, only to find that the ones that
don't get picked up right away open their seed heads in death, like a
dying camel that crawls into the nearest water source to pollute it. Is
this where Hamas got their inspiration for suicide bombers? I'm starting
to wonder if they're really not plants but sentient beings. If so, then
maybe I shouldn't be killing them, unless they're terrorists, which
comes back to the suicide bomber thing. I'm having nightmares that they
get nuclear capability, and then I mow them down only to release all
those seeds and the fallout smothers all of West TN in a blanket of
fluffy white death. This must be the cockroach of the plant world, which
will be here long after we're all gone. They're probably just waiting
for us to leave so they can start building their cities, undisturbed by
Round-Up.

Sean Quinn

P.S. Sorry if I made you spew coffee all over your computer.