In article
,
Billy wrote:
In article , Charlie wrote:
On Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:15:18 -0700, Billy
wrote:
And so our jolly band of gardeners regale themselves into the night.
Tune in next time for more on re-built hymens, erectile dysfunction, and
who stole Charlie's log. Oh yeah, there may be some gardening too. Bye.
And as you may be aware, that dirty old log is an integral part of my
life. I've had it for a long, long time! This is a serious situation,
bro!
Charlie
“If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it
on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell
you.” -- Jack Handy
Next time on "wrecked gardens": log jacked! Stay tuned.
Hi, boys and girls. If you remember last time, Captain Charlie had just
crawled into his hollow log to see how the germination of his mythical
Atlantis Tomato was doing, when he heard the screech of a large truck
coming to a halt. Suddenly the ends of the log where sealed, and he
could feel the log being lifted into the air, only to be dropped hard.
The last that Captain Charlie remembered as the darkness washed over his
consciousness was the pitching and bouncing of a flat bed truck, hauling
him and and his log away.
Waking up, Captain Charlie, unsure of how long he had been unconscious,
heard the horns and whistles of many ships and boats. Again he could
feel himself being swung and dropped. Diesel motors roared and a voice
rang out, "Dépêchez-vous les gars. Fiche-moi le camp ! Déplacez cet
putain de wagon tout de suite." Charlie could feel the jerk of the truck
as it started to move. The truck moved slowly along La Canebière, past
the pimps, the pickpockets, and the muggers. All that Captain Charlie
could hear was the tires against the cobblestones and the rap music
spilling out into the street from the passing night clubs. The truck
finally found itself on a narrow cobblestone street leading north to the
suburbs.
The truck driver was a large burley man with big hands, whose few
friends called him Rocky. Next to him with a baseball cap pulled down
over his eyes, trying to get some sleep, was a smaller man called Clay.
"Damn", said Rocky. "What's up?", asked Clay, whose voice betrayed a
lack of interest. "How big are penguins?", Rocky asked with concern in
his voice. "About three feet tall", a sleepy Clay responded. "Why?" "I
think I just ran over a nun", said a dejected Rocky. "We'd better get
out of here".
Fortunately for Captain Charlie, his good friend Wild Billy had been
following them since they had left Missouri . FInding an opportune vine,
Wild Billy swung down towards the truck, holding a glass of precocious
and impertinent Morgon in his free hand.
"What was that?", said Rocky. "What was what?", asked Clay, irritated by
being woken up again." I thought I heard something hit the truck ",
said Rocky. "I'd better stop and check." Stepping out of the cab, Rocky
saw the crumpled body of Wild Billy in the middle of the street. Then he
saw the large, red splattered dent high o the side of his truck.
Confused, Rocky walked back towards where Wild Billy laid in the road.
Impatient with sitting in the truck's cab, Clay got out to see what was
keeping Rocky for so long. Rounding the corner of the back of the back
of the truck, Clay saw a billowing black phantom hovering over Rocky,
and striking him time after time. "Oh, my god", Clay blurted out.
Hearing the sound, the phantom turned to face Clay. Clay's eyes widened
in fear when he recognized Jangchub, The Lesbian Nun, who had muddy tire
marks across the front of her habit.
Tune in next time boys and girls for the next installment of "The Temple
of the Lost Tomato".
--
- Billy
"For the first time in the history of the world, every human being
is now subjected to contact with dangerous chemicals, from the
moment of conception until death." - Rachel Carson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI29wVQN8Go
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1072040.html