You don't get to choose your relatives ain't it wonderful you can choose
your friends.

An older relative of mine has always been a little odd, other-worldly you
might say. But life would be so dull without the eccentric so it has never
really concerned me. I need to leave my options open here as I might
qualify myself some time.

This bloke is not suffering dementia nor does he drink to excess or any
such as far as I can tell. He knows who you are, where he is and what he is
doing. He travels about the city alone quite happily and does all the
normal domestic things one does. He can remember what he did yesterday,
last month etc. He is charming and in his own field quite erudite.

He phoned his sister the other day to say goodbye. She asked why. He said
he was dying because he had just drunk poison. After some frantic
questioning it transpired that he had gone to the medicine cabinet to get
some cough syrup and pulled out the eucalyptus oil by mistake. He then
poured a dessert spoon full and drank it!

Even if you don't read the label how can you not notice the spoon of stuff
in front of your face is not cough syrup but eucalyptus oil? Having taken
it how can your next act be to phone your sister to say goodbye cruel world?
So she called the poisons information line and they said to be calm, do not
induce vomiting, that he would be in for a bad night but the results would
not leave any lasting harm. They were correct: the result was - how can I
put this delicately - powerful. But once the stuff had run its course, or
should I say blasted and slalomed its course, he was OK.

I laughed. I nearly cried. I shook my head and scratched it. I got no
nearer to really understanding but ended up thinking that there but for
fortune go I. Will he take more care with the little bottles in the
medicine cabinet in future? There is no certainty.

David.